5-17-08

Wow, typing that date reminded me its my Dads birthday. My Dad died 20 years ago so there is no need for a card or gift. This will make me think of him today and how much I miss him. He only got to see my first born. Travis was 6 months old when he died. That was a bad day for everyone. Besides my Mom, I probably took it the worst. He was, my Dad.

Now its my Grandma. Shes still kicking. She is ready to go, but her heart still beats. Deep down, I hope I dont live until Im 99. I have seen everything she is going through, and I dont want to put my kids through that. Its hard and it sucks!

I need lighten this a little bit.

My company is all gone. I sat for about 12 hours yesterday and did NOTHING! It was great.

I didnt wish anyone to leave, but it was time. After being alone for the past 8 years, its hard to live with so many people in my house. Things were moved around. Messes were made. The washing machine didnt stop. It was hectic......but wonderful!

Every night, Eric and I would retreat to my bedroom. The door was closed, my cat was on my feet, and it was quiet. It was wonderful. Wonderful until I woke up at 3am and had no blankets. Eric is a blanket stealer! We, no I, fixed that problem the next night. I cant go without my blankies.

I can go on and on about the happenings while they were here, but Im not going to. Its memories that I will share at some point. Eric may say some stuff in his blog, I dont know. We had fun, laughed a lot, made a YouTube video (ask Eric for the link), talked, laughed some more, shared the stars, and enjoyed each others company. OH, and a lot of photos.

Eric met both of my closest girlfriends. Not really girlfriends, but more like sisters. My girls loved him. Eric also met my 2 brothers. Im not sure if they loved him, thats weird, but they liked him as well. Everything just seemed to click. He met my Gram, my neighbors, and a few others. I didnt keep him locked in my house, if thats what youre thinking.

What more can I ask for?

I can be honest and say that things arent perfect. Nothing is perfect. Eric and I have both been alone for a long time. I dont want whoever is reading this to freak out and call, write, text, email, or IM me. Everything is fine. I didnt hurt him, nor did he hurt me. We need to get used to sharing the same space with each other. That will take a little time. What did you expect? Things WOULD be perfect???

Its quiet here again. I like it quiet, but I miss the commotion. I miss Eric. I miss my brother and everything he brings to my life. I miss Lynette. Is there a happy medium?

I need to go to the store. NIU graduation is today. That means, A LOT OF TRAFFIC. Im sure that because of the shooting in February, the security will be amped up. Maybe I can make it to the grocery store nearby to get what I need. Hmmm....

All for now.

Peace Out.....

happy birthday, dad! i love you!