5-2-08

Its 10:32pm. Im tired. My dog want to play. My cats are asleep. My kids are all gone. Either to girlfriend or boyfriends houses. I really think my dog just 'woke' up. Jeeeeez. The race is on. Richmond, VA tonight. Good race....but my Dale Jr. isnt racing. Thats tomorrow night. Oh you know I will be watching that. He starts 22nd. Not great, but its a good track for him. No worries.

It was a long day for me. It started out by me getting up at about 6am to make sure my kids get up for school. Why do I do this? Probably because I know if I dont call them or wake them up myself, they wont get up. Typical of my kids. So, its 635am and Im yelling for them to get their asses out of bed. My son opens his door and yells...Mom, we dont have school today. WTF?? Thanks for telling me. This pissed me off because I would have loved nothing more than to sleep in. Just for another hour or so. Oh well. I got online. Why not?

So, Im wide awake. Take the trash out that my son was too lazy to do and let the dog out. Its beautiful outside at 7am. Its supposed to rain, so its humid. But still, beautiful. Quiet, peaceful. I come inside and it starts to rain. It smells so clean. I love that smell. The dog went back to bed, the cats are chillin' on the couch and Im on Facebook. Im addicted, ok. First step is admitting you have an addiction. I can admit to things like this.

If you dont have FB (Facebook), dont get it. You will find you spend too much time on there goofing off. Sending your friends, plants, hugs, monsters, kisses, flowers, rainbows, etc. Not to mention owning people. Yes, you can own people on there. Its like a human auction. Its pretty cool, but addicting as well. I have already admitted to the addiction, so Im good.

Eric pops on and we start playing our game of Scrabble. Yeah, its on FB as well. After kicking his butt...hehe....Love you honey.....I get a phone call from the nursing home. Its my Gram. She is on her way to the E.R.

I jump in the shower, get dressed and fly out the door. I mentioned my Gram is 99 years old, so I hurry whenever something happens to her. Within 30 minutes Im at the hospital. Im not a foo foo girl, so it doesnt take me long to get ready.

I walk in and shes just laying there smiling. I looked at her, took her hand, and asked her....What the hell are you doing here? All she could do was laugh at me. She looked good to me. She has been having problems breathing and hasnt been able to decide what she wants to do. I guess she finally got tired of not being able to breathe and decided it was time to go to the 'dreaded' hospital again.

So shes hooked up to what seems like 100 miles of wires, cords, tubes, etc. But shes still smiling. They take blood. A lot of blood from her. She made the comment that they were going to 'drain her.' I reassured her that they werent going to do that. They take X-rays, take more blood, give her some kind of drippy medicine, catheter (i spell checked that). And now we wait. She fell asleep. I fell asleep. I asked to sleep in the bed next to her, but it was a no go.

The Dr finally comes in. Shes in heart failure. She has fluid in her lungs.....wet lungs is what the Dr said. AND she has lost half of the blood in her body since she was in the hospital a week or so ago. Needless to say, shes a mess. I told her she was like a tossed salad. Got her to laugh.

They gave her meds to get the fluid out of her body. 1000 ml in 2 hours came out of her. Yeah, I thought it was a lot too. I can only imagine how much more has come out since. They were going to fill her back up with blood. Which is always a good thing. Dr said she was going to be there for a few days and then she can go back to the nursing home.

WTF???

Heart failure. Doesnt that mean her heart is failing?? He made it sound like shes going to be up and running around in no time. Mind you, Gram hasnt ran anywhere in about 2 years or so.

As I sat there and watched her sleep, I was texting with Eric. Hes amazing. At a moments notice, he was willing to drive out here (9 hrs) to be with me. Who does that? Eric, I know youre reading this and you want to leave a message, dont. I get it, honey. I get it.

I wondered if 10 years ago she would still be alive at this point. Medicine is amazing. The things they can do, etc. Just amazing.

I wondered who I should call. My brother is in Vegas for work. Who else is there? A few relatives that cant really do anything. Shes not dying that I know of. So I just sat there, watching her. Texting Eric. Dozing.

I left my Gram about 15 minutes before they took her up to her room. She was ready to lay in a bed and sleep. I had spent roughly 5 hours, sitting in a chair, watching my Gram. Not really what I had planned for the day. Sometimes we just have to do things that arent fun. I didnt have fun.

I was a bitch when I came home. So much so, I havent seen my kids since they left about 5 minutes after I got home. Its ok. They didnt sit up there. They got to sleep. They got to be lazy and irresponsible. Its ok.

I will go to the hospital tomorrow morning, while my kids are sleeping, and visit with my Gram. She needs Carmex. She wants Junior Mints. I will bring her both.

My brother is sleeping in Vegas. I took all the worry away from him so he can sleep tonight and work a 16 hour day tomorrow.

*sigh* Heart failure. What does that mean??

Thats it for tonight. These blogs keep getting longer and longer. Dog is asleep. Cats are awake.
Go figure!

I didnt delete or re-read again. All for now....

Peace Out...