Hi.
The wind is blowing.
The leaves are flying.
Its cold.
The only nice thing about today is that the sun is out.
This time of year is my darkest. Im depressed, always cold, unhappy, depressed and cold. Did I mention that I was cold??
It is the time of year my father died. My nephew died. The holidays. The weather.
My shining light is that Eric is moving here. He wont let me be cold, depressed or unhappy. I look forward to this. He cant take away the passing of my dad or my nephew, but he can make it more tolerable.
Im not sure yet if Im going to be in the mood for Christmas. The kids and I werent last year. Hell, we didnt even put up a tree.
Im in the mood for Thanksgiving. I have things to be thankful for. I am thankful for things every day so a holiday isnt really needed for me. Oh and, Eric will be here 2 days later.
I read things my sister leaves on her MySpace account. It bothers me. It depresses me. I cant relate to loosing a child, however, Justin was like a child to me. He was my 'Little Man'. He was my 5th child. He was my baby. I miss him every single day and there isnt anything I can do to bring him back. My sister cant move forward. I know the reasons why just as well as she does. She and I arent on talking terms. We havent been for a few months now. Once again, I know why.
Im trying to get past the things she says, but its difficult at times. Today was a rough day. I will get better as the day goes on. I will think about Justin a little more than usual today.
Im going to the Dr with Jessica. See how my grandson is cooking.
Have a great day. Hug the ones you love.
Peace out...
Monday, November 17, 2008
Sunday, November 9, 2008
11-9-08
Hi.
My life is changing as I know it.
Thing will never be the same.
I CANT WAIT!!!
Julie and Eric. Eric and Julie.
I know, youre all sick of hearing about us. Too fuckin bad! Im happy for the first time in a very long time, why not share it?
I know he is just as happy as I am, if not a smidge more. Hes like that.
Not too long ago, he found me on the internet, today we are making wedding plans. I know, we arent getting married for a few years but we have started a fund and we are finding things we both like. Things change, I know, but when I have something big going on, I start to make lists and plan. Yeah.....3 years away and Im planning. lol....it is kinda funny.
I have already found a style of wedding cake I like. My girls like it as well. Thats important, ya know. We have picked colors, which will more than likely change a dozen times. We have a date...thats not changing as far as I know. We need to work on where we are getting married. Outside for sure. It will be cool, but not cold nor hot. Thats important. Who wants to be hot for a wedding reception? I would hate for Eric to be too hot for dancing. And hes going to dance. Rene.....youre my cameraman, k?
Eric is moving here in 20 days. TWENTY DAYS!!! No more driving from PA. Hell, he wont ever have to drive. Its going to be a 2 minute walk to my house and thats if there is traffic!
Im excited. I cant wait. No more saying goodbye. No more long drives home that make me worry. No more waiting for him to get here.
We can now start our lives together. This means I may have to start cooking, god forbid. Im not going to do his laundry or clean his house.
Im not worried about getting tired of him or of him being in my 'space'.
I CANT WAIT to be with him forever.
Peace Out...
My life is changing as I know it.
Thing will never be the same.
I CANT WAIT!!!
Julie and Eric. Eric and Julie.
I know, youre all sick of hearing about us. Too fuckin bad! Im happy for the first time in a very long time, why not share it?
I know he is just as happy as I am, if not a smidge more. Hes like that.
Not too long ago, he found me on the internet, today we are making wedding plans. I know, we arent getting married for a few years but we have started a fund and we are finding things we both like. Things change, I know, but when I have something big going on, I start to make lists and plan. Yeah.....3 years away and Im planning. lol....it is kinda funny.
I have already found a style of wedding cake I like. My girls like it as well. Thats important, ya know. We have picked colors, which will more than likely change a dozen times. We have a date...thats not changing as far as I know. We need to work on where we are getting married. Outside for sure. It will be cool, but not cold nor hot. Thats important. Who wants to be hot for a wedding reception? I would hate for Eric to be too hot for dancing. And hes going to dance. Rene.....youre my cameraman, k?
Eric is moving here in 20 days. TWENTY DAYS!!! No more driving from PA. Hell, he wont ever have to drive. Its going to be a 2 minute walk to my house and thats if there is traffic!
Im excited. I cant wait. No more saying goodbye. No more long drives home that make me worry. No more waiting for him to get here.
We can now start our lives together. This means I may have to start cooking, god forbid. Im not going to do his laundry or clean his house.
Im not worried about getting tired of him or of him being in my 'space'.
I CANT WAIT to be with him forever.
Peace Out...
Thursday, November 6, 2008
11-6-08
Hi.
Its a boy. Curtis Justin Bradley.
We are all too excited. Even though a few of us thought it was a girl and had that hope, we are still more than overjoyed to be having a boy.
We got some cool ass photos of the baby, again. That just tickles me to pieces when they give us photos. I will be working on framing them for Jessica and Brad as Ive done with the other ones.
Its a boy.....
Peace out...
Its a boy. Curtis Justin Bradley.
We are all too excited. Even though a few of us thought it was a girl and had that hope, we are still more than overjoyed to be having a boy.
We got some cool ass photos of the baby, again. That just tickles me to pieces when they give us photos. I will be working on framing them for Jessica and Brad as Ive done with the other ones.
Its a boy.....
Peace out...
Tuesday, November 4, 2008
11-4-08
Hi.
I finally believe my daughter is pregnant. I felt the baby move.
After countless attempts of feeling my grandchild move, today was the day.
Jessica was laying in bed after I got out of the shower and she *quietly* told me to come in the room. I went over to her and she took my hand and placed it over her belly button. A minute or so later I felt a little kick, punch, fart....I dont know, but I felt it.
Finally.
Thursday we find out for sure that its a little girl. I dont know why, but since she told me, Ive had a feeling its a girl. Guess on Thursday we will know if my suspicions are correct. I dont really care which it is. I just want healthy.
Eric and I went to a wedding on Saturday with my kids. We had a blast. What Im a little disappointed in is that we didnt get any video of Eric dancing. Yeah, he was bustin a move. He claims that he had the camera while dancing. Yeah, right. I figure the next wedding, be it mine or my daughters or somebodies, hes getting video taped dancing. Period.
We talked a lot at the wedding about our own wedding. Things we liked and things we liked but would change a little. It was fun dancing with my man and talking about wedding plans.
My girls were dancing queens! I havent ever seen my youngest dance so much. Shes got rhythm. She and Jessica had a great time. Jess was a little disappointed that her belly wouldnt allow her to dance like shes used to, but she had a such a good time.
The ceremony was beautiful. The couple were happy. The reception was a blast. The food was good. The cake was yummy. The kids were happy. Eric and I were very happy. By the end of the night, we were pooped out!
The wedding party was in the same hotel as us. Actually they were across the hall. The party didnt end at the reception. My kids stayed up for a while to 'party' with them. In the morning the kids were telling us how much fun they had after we went to bed.
I can only hope for a wedding with as much fun.
Today we are going to vote. Jessica and I are going here in a little bit. She hasnt had the chance to vote for the President yet. She seems a little excited. At least I hope she is.
Work is work is work. I applied for a job this morning. I love where I work. Its mindless work which tends to bore me. It has busy times but mostly I find myself standing around, waiting. Im used to moving around and keeping busy. The people are nice, its a nice place to work BUT I need more money and more consistent hours. I will keep searching.
Jessica is craving egg salad, so shes making that right now. Eric has been playing with Kadie and having almost too much fun with her. Im chillin'. Im looking forward to the day off but I have a ton to do. Its going to be a beautiful day again today....YAY! We are expecting snow on Friday....BOOOO.
Have a great voting day....Go VOTE!
Peace out...
I finally believe my daughter is pregnant. I felt the baby move.
After countless attempts of feeling my grandchild move, today was the day.
Jessica was laying in bed after I got out of the shower and she *quietly* told me to come in the room. I went over to her and she took my hand and placed it over her belly button. A minute or so later I felt a little kick, punch, fart....I dont know, but I felt it.
Finally.
Thursday we find out for sure that its a little girl. I dont know why, but since she told me, Ive had a feeling its a girl. Guess on Thursday we will know if my suspicions are correct. I dont really care which it is. I just want healthy.
Eric and I went to a wedding on Saturday with my kids. We had a blast. What Im a little disappointed in is that we didnt get any video of Eric dancing. Yeah, he was bustin a move. He claims that he had the camera while dancing. Yeah, right. I figure the next wedding, be it mine or my daughters or somebodies, hes getting video taped dancing. Period.
We talked a lot at the wedding about our own wedding. Things we liked and things we liked but would change a little. It was fun dancing with my man and talking about wedding plans.
My girls were dancing queens! I havent ever seen my youngest dance so much. Shes got rhythm. She and Jessica had a great time. Jess was a little disappointed that her belly wouldnt allow her to dance like shes used to, but she had a such a good time.
The ceremony was beautiful. The couple were happy. The reception was a blast. The food was good. The cake was yummy. The kids were happy. Eric and I were very happy. By the end of the night, we were pooped out!
The wedding party was in the same hotel as us. Actually they were across the hall. The party didnt end at the reception. My kids stayed up for a while to 'party' with them. In the morning the kids were telling us how much fun they had after we went to bed.
I can only hope for a wedding with as much fun.
Today we are going to vote. Jessica and I are going here in a little bit. She hasnt had the chance to vote for the President yet. She seems a little excited. At least I hope she is.
Work is work is work. I applied for a job this morning. I love where I work. Its mindless work which tends to bore me. It has busy times but mostly I find myself standing around, waiting. Im used to moving around and keeping busy. The people are nice, its a nice place to work BUT I need more money and more consistent hours. I will keep searching.
Jessica is craving egg salad, so shes making that right now. Eric has been playing with Kadie and having almost too much fun with her. Im chillin'. Im looking forward to the day off but I have a ton to do. Its going to be a beautiful day again today....YAY! We are expecting snow on Friday....BOOOO.
Have a great voting day....Go VOTE!
Peace out...
Sunday, October 26, 2008
10-26-08
Hi.
I said 'Yes' today.
Im going to marry him.
It doesnt matter much that he asked me 15 minutes AFTER I put the ring on. Its ok. It almost makes sense. We are a little weird like that.
He asked me on the courthouse lawn while we were looking at pumpkins. Holding up the 'line'.
I didnt cry. I laughed a little. I kissed him passionately. I told him....Yes. YES! I held him and knew that this is the most amazing feeling. To love and be loved as much as I am. Oh my GOD he loves me.
We dont have a date. We havent picked our 'colors'. We dont have a wedding party. We dont even know where to honeymoon (Italy).
Whats most important is that Im going to spend the rest of my life with a man who will love me unconditionally. Hes going to support me. Hes going to make me laugh and let me be 'stupid'. Hes going to hold my hand every chance he gets. Hes going to treat me the way I deserve to be treated. Hes going to tell me Im beautiful even if I look like shit.
Im happier than Ive ever been before. Im thanking my angel again. I love you, Justin.
I love you, Eric.
I promise to always love you and take care of you. I promise to make you laugh and will let you be a geek on occasion. I promise to support you. I promise to always be there when you need a hug or hear 'I love you'.
Heres a picture of my ring...
I said 'Yes' today.
Im going to marry him.
It doesnt matter much that he asked me 15 minutes AFTER I put the ring on. Its ok. It almost makes sense. We are a little weird like that.
He asked me on the courthouse lawn while we were looking at pumpkins. Holding up the 'line'.
I didnt cry. I laughed a little. I kissed him passionately. I told him....Yes. YES! I held him and knew that this is the most amazing feeling. To love and be loved as much as I am. Oh my GOD he loves me.
We dont have a date. We havent picked our 'colors'. We dont have a wedding party. We dont even know where to honeymoon (Italy).
Whats most important is that Im going to spend the rest of my life with a man who will love me unconditionally. Hes going to support me. Hes going to make me laugh and let me be 'stupid'. Hes going to hold my hand every chance he gets. Hes going to treat me the way I deserve to be treated. Hes going to tell me Im beautiful even if I look like shit.
Im happier than Ive ever been before. Im thanking my angel again. I love you, Justin.
I love you, Eric.
I promise to always love you and take care of you. I promise to make you laugh and will let you be a geek on occasion. I promise to support you. I promise to always be there when you need a hug or hear 'I love you'.
Heres a picture of my ring...
Its not a yellow diamond, its actually orange. I saw it in the jewelry shop where I took my grandmas rings to be cleaned and fixed. It was love at first sight.
I have the man of my dreams and now I have the ring that reminds me of that.
Peace out...
Wednesday, October 22, 2008
10-22-08
Hi.
I cant stop smiling.
I think the world come come to an end, and I would still be smiling.
Why am I smiling, you ask?
DUH....Eric!
Hes going to be here Friday.
I think its more than that. I have honestly never been this happy before. ME. IM HAPPY! I never EVER wouldve thought I could be this happy. I dont think it really matters much what happens in my life from here on out, I am always going to be happy. Im sure there are going to be bumps in the road and perhaps a bad day about once or twice a month, but overall, Im happy.
Im going to spend the rest of my life with him. (still havent decided if Im letting him move in or not...lol.) He is the most wonderful, caring, loving man Ive ever known.
I love my angel that much more for sending him to me. Thank you, Justin...
Peace out...
I cant stop smiling.
I think the world come come to an end, and I would still be smiling.
Why am I smiling, you ask?
DUH....Eric!
Hes going to be here Friday.
I think its more than that. I have honestly never been this happy before. ME. IM HAPPY! I never EVER wouldve thought I could be this happy. I dont think it really matters much what happens in my life from here on out, I am always going to be happy. Im sure there are going to be bumps in the road and perhaps a bad day about once or twice a month, but overall, Im happy.
Im going to spend the rest of my life with him. (still havent decided if Im letting him move in or not...lol.) He is the most wonderful, caring, loving man Ive ever known.
I love my angel that much more for sending him to me. Thank you, Justin...
Peace out...
Saturday, October 18, 2008
10-18-08
Hi.
So Im not sure that Ive said anything, but for the past 2 weeks or so, my kids and I have been cleaning my grandmas house. Eric has even put in his 2 cents.
My older brother doesnt want the house empty for any amount of time, so my oldest son is moving in.
There were occupants in the house up until about 3 weeks ago and they left the house a mess. They left in a hurry and they said they cleaned. Im still trying to figure out what they cleaned, but thats besides the point.
They left not only a mess, but the left mice. Not sure how many, but its more than one. We are still finding mouse poop all over the place. I have Decon'd the place and we have patched holes. I think its finally under control. What a pain.
We painted the bathroom. It was a beautiful 70's green color and now its a bright yellow. I love yellow. It looks amazing. We also painted a bedroom. Its getting there.
It seems that everyday somebody is over there doing something. I think all thats left is to get a steam cleaner to do the carpets and finish up the kitchen. We are also going to put in a ceiling fan and a new kitchen light. Minor things.
Its weird being in 'grandmas house'. Its almost like shes moving in, not my son.
Travis has always liked the house and he has even talked to my brother about buying it in a few years. That would be cool, I guess. I wont be here in a few years and it will be strange for him to stay somewhere I dont want to be.
Eric is moving out here. Thats still sinking in. Im so excited and scared at the same time. Its a life changing event for him. Not so much me, because Im already here.
To think that this is the start of the rest of our lives. Whoa! I never wouldve thought I would be in this position again. A serious relationship. I gave up on men. Where did he come from?? Regardless of what I wanted in the past, I know this is what I want for my future. And I cant wait!!
Work is going ok. Im not fucking up as much. Maybe only once or twice a day instead of constantly. Which is good.
For some reason, the store manager likes me. He wanted to know if I liked my hours. I told him I would like more. Something more consistent would be nice too. Hes going to work on that. Cool. Cant wait.
Kids are all good. My daughter got her test results back from her heart doctor. Shes got a leaky heart. Not sure what the hell that means, because she talked to the doctor and not me. I need to make a phone call this week to get the scoop. Shes going to be inconvenienced by a yearly heart check for this problem. No biggie. I dont think.
Not much else. Waiting for my man to get here hopefully this week. We have a wedding to go to on the 1st of November. That will be fun.
Ok...All for now. Going to see if the kids want to watch a movie. Eric is on the phone right now with Hailey, my youngest, as her computer crashed. Something about Operating system not found. Whatever that means. (dont try and explain)
I hope everyone has a great weekend, or whats left of it.
Talk soon.
Peace out.....
So Im not sure that Ive said anything, but for the past 2 weeks or so, my kids and I have been cleaning my grandmas house. Eric has even put in his 2 cents.
My older brother doesnt want the house empty for any amount of time, so my oldest son is moving in.
There were occupants in the house up until about 3 weeks ago and they left the house a mess. They left in a hurry and they said they cleaned. Im still trying to figure out what they cleaned, but thats besides the point.
They left not only a mess, but the left mice. Not sure how many, but its more than one. We are still finding mouse poop all over the place. I have Decon'd the place and we have patched holes. I think its finally under control. What a pain.
We painted the bathroom. It was a beautiful 70's green color and now its a bright yellow. I love yellow. It looks amazing. We also painted a bedroom. Its getting there.
It seems that everyday somebody is over there doing something. I think all thats left is to get a steam cleaner to do the carpets and finish up the kitchen. We are also going to put in a ceiling fan and a new kitchen light. Minor things.
Its weird being in 'grandmas house'. Its almost like shes moving in, not my son.
Travis has always liked the house and he has even talked to my brother about buying it in a few years. That would be cool, I guess. I wont be here in a few years and it will be strange for him to stay somewhere I dont want to be.
Eric is moving out here. Thats still sinking in. Im so excited and scared at the same time. Its a life changing event for him. Not so much me, because Im already here.
To think that this is the start of the rest of our lives. Whoa! I never wouldve thought I would be in this position again. A serious relationship. I gave up on men. Where did he come from?? Regardless of what I wanted in the past, I know this is what I want for my future. And I cant wait!!
Work is going ok. Im not fucking up as much. Maybe only once or twice a day instead of constantly. Which is good.
For some reason, the store manager likes me. He wanted to know if I liked my hours. I told him I would like more. Something more consistent would be nice too. Hes going to work on that. Cool. Cant wait.
Kids are all good. My daughter got her test results back from her heart doctor. Shes got a leaky heart. Not sure what the hell that means, because she talked to the doctor and not me. I need to make a phone call this week to get the scoop. Shes going to be inconvenienced by a yearly heart check for this problem. No biggie. I dont think.
Not much else. Waiting for my man to get here hopefully this week. We have a wedding to go to on the 1st of November. That will be fun.
Ok...All for now. Going to see if the kids want to watch a movie. Eric is on the phone right now with Hailey, my youngest, as her computer crashed. Something about Operating system not found. Whatever that means. (dont try and explain)
I hope everyone has a great weekend, or whats left of it.
Talk soon.
Peace out.....
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