10-26-08

Hi.

I said 'Yes' today.

Im going to marry him.

It doesnt matter much that he asked me 15 minutes AFTER I put the ring on. Its ok. It almost makes sense. We are a little weird like that.

He asked me on the courthouse lawn while we were looking at pumpkins. Holding up the 'line'.

I didnt cry. I laughed a little. I kissed him passionately. I told him....Yes. YES! I held him and knew that this is the most amazing feeling. To love and be loved as much as I am. Oh my GOD he loves me.

We dont have a date. We havent picked our 'colors'. We dont have a wedding party. We dont even know where to honeymoon (Italy).

Whats most important is that Im going to spend the rest of my life with a man who will love me unconditionally. Hes going to support me. Hes going to make me laugh and let me be 'stupid'. Hes going to hold my hand every chance he gets. Hes going to treat me the way I deserve to be treated. Hes going to tell me Im beautiful even if I look like shit.

Im happier than Ive ever been before. Im thanking my angel again. I love you, Justin.

I love you, Eric.

I promise to always love you and take care of you. I promise to make you laugh and will let you be a geek on occasion. I promise to support you. I promise to always be there when you need a hug or hear 'I love you'.

Heres a picture of my ring...

Its not a yellow diamond, its actually orange. I saw it in the jewelry shop where I took my grandmas rings to be cleaned and fixed. It was love at first sight.

I have the man of my dreams and now I have the ring that reminds me of that.

Peace out...

10-22-08

Hi.

I cant stop smiling.

I think the world come come to an end, and I would still be smiling.

Why am I smiling, you ask?

DUH....Eric!

Hes going to be here Friday.

I think its more than that. I have honestly never been this happy before. ME. IM HAPPY! I never EVER wouldve thought I could be this happy. I dont think it really matters much what happens in my life from here on out, I am always going to be happy. Im sure there are going to be bumps in the road and perhaps a bad day about once or twice a month, but overall, Im happy.

Im going to spend the rest of my life with him. (still havent decided if Im letting him move in or not...lol.) He is the most wonderful, caring, loving man Ive ever known.

I love my angel that much more for sending him to me. Thank you, Justin...

Peace out...

10-18-08

Hi.

So Im not sure that Ive said anything, but for the past 2 weeks or so, my kids and I have been cleaning my grandmas house. Eric has even put in his 2 cents.

My older brother doesnt want the house empty for any amount of time, so my oldest son is moving in.

There were occupants in the house up until about 3 weeks ago and they left the house a mess. They left in a hurry and they said they cleaned. Im still trying to figure out what they cleaned, but thats besides the point.

They left not only a mess, but the left mice. Not sure how many, but its more than one. We are still finding mouse poop all over the place. I have Decon'd the place and we have patched holes. I think its finally under control. What a pain.

We painted the bathroom. It was a beautiful 70's green color and now its a bright yellow. I love yellow. It looks amazing. We also painted a bedroom. Its getting there.

It seems that everyday somebody is over there doing something. I think all thats left is to get a steam cleaner to do the carpets and finish up the kitchen. We are also going to put in a ceiling fan and a new kitchen light. Minor things.

Its weird being in 'grandmas house'. Its almost like shes moving in, not my son.

Travis has always liked the house and he has even talked to my brother about buying it in a few years. That would be cool, I guess. I wont be here in a few years and it will be strange for him to stay somewhere I dont want to be.

Eric is moving out here. Thats still sinking in. Im so excited and scared at the same time. Its a life changing event for him. Not so much me, because Im already here.

To think that this is the start of the rest of our lives. Whoa! I never wouldve thought I would be in this position again. A serious relationship. I gave up on men. Where did he come from?? Regardless of what I wanted in the past, I know this is what I want for my future. And I cant wait!!

Work is going ok. Im not fucking up as much. Maybe only once or twice a day instead of constantly. Which is good.

For some reason, the store manager likes me. He wanted to know if I liked my hours. I told him I would like more. Something more consistent would be nice too. Hes going to work on that. Cool. Cant wait.

Kids are all good. My daughter got her test results back from her heart doctor. Shes got a leaky heart. Not sure what the hell that means, because she talked to the doctor and not me. I need to make a phone call this week to get the scoop. Shes going to be inconvenienced by a yearly heart check for this problem. No biggie. I dont think.

Not much else. Waiting for my man to get here hopefully this week. We have a wedding to go to on the 1st of November. That will be fun.

Ok...All for now. Going to see if the kids want to watch a movie. Eric is on the phone right now with Hailey, my youngest, as her computer crashed. Something about Operating system not found. Whatever that means. (dont try and explain)

I hope everyone has a great weekend, or whats left of it.

Talk soon.

Peace out.....

10-14-08

HI.

Well, I made it through a very long 7 hr shift. I didnt know 7 hours could feel like 20. Im not used to standing in one spot for so long. Hell, I dont even stand that long when I do dishes. I need to be mobile. Move around a little bit.

I dont know how many times I fucked up, but I know it was too many to count. I was ringing up cilantro when it should have been parsley. Who knows 10 different kinds of lettuce? I DONT! I found myself at points just laughing. Out loud. It was funny and I couldnt help it. I would ask the customer what kind of lettuce it was, and they had no clue. I dont get it. Are they just buying 'what looks good'? People are funny.

For whatever reason, some dumb ass thinks that after 5 hours of training, I should know everything. I warned them that I had forgotten pretty much everything since last Thursday. They figured as much. I dont get it and I dont really care. I did the best I could and I thought I was awesome.

So, when I worked at Target, if I worked an 8 hr shift, I received a 30 minute lunch and two 15 minute breaks. At this place for the 7 hours that I worked, I received two 15 minute breaks. Does this seem right?? It sure didnt seem right to me. When I questioned it, they said thats just the way it is. Who do I call??

I quickly made an observation that people buy a lot of bananas. I swear, 4 out of 5 people that I rang up yesterday were buying bananas. Are they that good for you??

Bottom line.....is this job going to work out for me? Probably not. Im searching, again.

Eric, Eric, Eric.

Daily, I ask myself why I love him so much. My answer is.....I just do. I came to realize that my life wouldnt be complete without him. He drives me crazy with all the weird little things that he does.

For instance...

His blog about the TV. 500 channels that he doent miss flipping through. If you dont like flipping through them, then why do you have so many? I know, I will never understand. Its a guy thing to have every damn channel on a TV that is bigger than a car.

He left to go home a few days ago and I miss him so very much. Im not complete without him here. Ive become a slug. I feel depressed and lonely.

There is something about him that makes me a better person. Im happy when Im with him. Its crazy to me how much he loves me. His love for me is.... I dont know what to say.

I miss my sappy man. *sigh*

Thats all I got for now. Im still going to post that photo of Trav in his new 'jacket'. Give me an ounce of patience on that one.

Peace Out.....

10-12-08

Hi.

It seems like its been a long time since Ive been here, but it really hasnt. Its amazing how much time I have now that Im not tired and not working.

Work.

I have my first *real* day tomorrow. Im sure its not going to be great seeing as I dont really know what the hell Im doing. I was trained. Ive got the idea of what Im supposed to do. I also left that training day with a horrible headache from so much useless information. I hate days like those.

When I grocery shop, and I hate shopping, I want the checkout process to be quick and painless. Im doing the checking tomorrow and I can guarantee things arent going to be quick and painless. I expect to fuck up a lot. I hope they are ready for that.

I was trained on Thursday and Ive been off ever since. Hell, I dont think Ive even been to the store since then. Should be an interesting day tomorrow.

Im still looking for a job. I need full time. I need consistency. I dont have either with this job. I like my weekends off. If I have to work them every once in a while, fine. But every weekend?? I dont think so. I suppose Ive been spoiled a bit.

I had a few of my friends from Target over on Friday night. It was a movie night. They miss me as I miss them. It was so routine there and I miss that. I miss the 'your mom' jokes. I miss the stupid laughter. I dont miss the bullshit. One outweighs the other by a lot. I happier away from there. Period.

Eric has gone home and things are quiet here. My daughter even said it was weird without him around. I was able to keep a fairly clean house and even cook for him once or twice. (I REALLY hate cooking.)

He will be back in approximately 10 days. Hopefully this time for good. There is a job for him here, somewhere. My life is incomplete without him here. Thats my sap for the day!

On a positive note, I got him to retire the blue blazer/suit coat/grampa jacket. He was packing his car and he handed it over to me. I was like....WTF??? It made it to my living room, where my oldest son saw it and put it on. Hes like, "Cool coat. This is like a winter jacket, Mom." He put it on, and realized that he was really, really warm in it. So hes keeping it. OMG!!! I cant get rid of the damn thing.

Now, my son. 6' 6". 150 lbs soaking wet. Im going to insert photo below this when he gets home today, with the jacket on.

I could be wrong, but Im pretty sure that Eric and Travis arent the same size.

My daughter is doing well. We are all starting to get anxious to find out if shes having a boy or girl. I believe we find out on October 21st. I still say girl.

She has changed the girls name from Sarah Lexie to Klara Lexie. Klara was my other grandmas name. She died long before any of my kids were born so they didnt know her.

Jessica and I were digging through my cedar chest and we came across a book that was my grandmas. On the inside was written.... Klara Sophia Johannson. Jessica liked the name and spelling, so shes using it. I wish she would use the Spohia as well. eh, Oh well. For a second, Jessica wanted to name the girl Klara Sarah. I had to step in on that choice. I will update when we know the sex.

Im awesome. Im happy. Im rested. Im stress free. Im in love. What more is there?

All for now. I will post again when I have something to say. So much for everyday, huh? Oh well. Life changes everyday, so who knows what youre going to get.

Have a great week.

Peace Out....

10-6-08

It was great to sleep in today.

It was amazing to see my kids this morning.

It was even MORE amazing to wake up in Erics arms.

Peace Out....

10-4-08

HI!

Im still alive and kicking. Sorry if Ive been missed. Have I been missed??

Anyway...

As some of you already know, I have a new job. Its not my idea of an ideal job, but its not Target and I dont have to wake up at 230am anymore! Thats huge for me.

On September 23rd, I was given my 30 day notice. I could 'fix' all my problems or get fired in 30 days. I have to laugh because my 'problems' are rather funny. Heres a sample....

Send daily e-mail......CHECK
Communicate before I leave.......CHECK CHECK
Prevent my employees from calling in sick.....UM, ok.
Keep a door locked 24 hrs a day that about 12-15 people have a key to.....UM, ok.
Recognize top performers......Taking team members out for breakfast apparently doesnt count.

So at my 30 day notice, I stepped up my search. Searching high and low looking for anything. It got to the point I was sending out a few resumes a day. When you dont hear back, its frustrating. I can only imagine how Eric is feeling. (love you, honey)

I got a Sunday night phone call from a grocery store 2 minutes from my house. We talked for a while and set up an interview for the next day.

When I got there, we talked a lot. A lot about Target as he had never sat across from a Target employee. Weird, but ok. He wanted to understand the Target way of thinking. I didnt expect to have my brain picked during an interview. I answered his questions the best I could. I hope he got something out of it as I thought it was....weird.

I took a 50 question test asking me about my Crack addiction and whether or not I am a thief. When was the last time I worked while on Crack? How often do you smoke Crack? Would I steal money from my job? If I found money on the ground next to an armoured truck, would I return it? I couldnt help but laugh at the questions. The test was supposed to take me 20 minutes to answer. It took me 10. When he came to pick it up and 'grade' it, I was still smirking.

He came back a few minutes later and told me that I scored really, really well on the 'test'. I said, 'Well, thats good.' Then he told me again that I scored really well. Not hard to score well on a test when youre not on Crack, duh.

He offered me the position.

Part time.

Cashier.

$8 an hour.

What the hell am I thinking??

The positive side of things is that I never have to wake up at 230am again. There is an awesome possibility for quick promotion. The COMPANY pays for insurance. I can walk to work.

I know that things are going to be a shocking change for me making almost $6 an hour less. My kids understand this. Eric understands.

I will be ok.

When I got home, I let out the biggest sigh of relief. There was a weight lifted. Im going to be ok, and I know it.

No more Jeff. No more Ryan. No more Target politics. No more bullshit.

I put in my 2 day notice the next day. The HR was a bitch. It was an inconvenience for her to look up the phone number for my 401K. She was very quick to give me my termination papers and then asked if she could post my position that day. I simply said, 'I dont give a fuck what you do'.

I told a few people that I was leaving. The important people.

On Friday, I was asked to leave the store around 7am because I was laughing with my team. I was told if I was done, I could leave. I laughed in Ryans face and told him I was staying til my shift ended at 930. Whats he going to do, fire me?

I received a cake made by one of my team members that resembled Dale Jrs car. It was awesome. It was difficult to chop it up, but I finally did late that night after everyone had seen it. Of course Eric took photos.

One last thing before I left the store, was to toss a glass of confetti that I had been saving for the perfect occasion. One hand full was thrown at a fellow employee who was laughing her ass off. The rest of it was thrown across the entire team lead office. There was confetti everywhere.

The guy that I taxi to and from work was speechless. On the way home all he could say over and over was, 'Whos going to clean it up' and 'I wish I could have heard the chatter on the walkie'. He was pretty impressed, as was I. Today, Saturday, Im bummed that I didnt get some sort of photo of the event. I wish I couldve even sat for a minute and enjoyed my fun.

Oh well.

I did get a comment on Facebook from an employee giving me a WTG. Im sure in the near future, I will hear about it from friends. I cant wait.

Was it childish to throw the confetti? Should I have left quietly?

FUCK NO!!!

Peace out.....