6-21-08

Ive really got nothing. Nothing has been going on here as of late.

Eric left on Wednesday and I miss him. Its so quiet here. Back to being chill without him here. I so enjoyed our long drives to nowhere. I saw countryside I hadnt seen before. Im sure he was bored out of his mind looking at endless corn fields and flat land. As much as I hate it here, I enjoy driving in the country before the corn gets too high to see over it. The sunsets are beautiful as well. Eric did get some great shots of the sunset over the fields. Maybe he will post one.

Im done with physical therapy. Im not 100%, but Im not progressing either. At some point you have to just accept it and move on. This is what Ive done. I will continue with my exercising, to a point. Ive never been a fan of exercising. Im going to get one of those huge balls. I can do those exercises and enjoyed them. hm, Why not do something I enjoy? I will also continue walking my Kadie girl. Thats good for both of us.

My Gram is the same. No changes. She still doesnt know who I am. Im Norma, my mom. Thats ok. I accept that as close enough. She likes Eric. Her eyes lit up when he told her that he was my boyfriend. Thats all shes ever wanted for me. Shes met him a few times, but seems to forget who he is when he goes back. She didnt want to see me alone after my divorce. She didnt understand thats what I wanted. Things changed.

My kids are enjoying summer vacation. They so badly want to go somewhere, but money is tight. We are thinking about going to see Eric. Its not the beach, but we will still have fun. I figure the beach isnt going anywhere, we can do it next year. Summer just started, and Eric isnt going anywhere.

The race is coming up in a few weeks. We are all excited about that. The all access passes fell through. It sucks. Apparently they are now charging $600 a piece for the passes. Yeah, I cant do that. I will get my day in the pits, just not this year. Kathy and I still have awesome seats for the races. Start/Finish line about 20 rows up. Cant beat that!!!

Work is work. This past week I got more dumped on me. More responsibilities. Yay. I need a team of 8 instead of 3. The new store manager is tough. Its what the store needs. No more bullshit, which I like. Maybe people will do their jobs now instead of fucking around. I also like that he sees things the other exes 'miss'. I think he and I will get along just fine.

I mentioned in a blog a while ago that my 13 year old nephew died a few months ago. A subject that is still very raw to me. He was my baby. My 5th child. He got his headstone this week. For whatever reason, it made me happy to think he was more than just a marker in the ground. Im going to go see him today and take a few pictures. I may post one here, I may not. Im not sure yet. I will have one on my MySpace page, which nobody here has a link to, but thats ok. My sister has access to that account and Im posting it for her. Shes seen it, just not at the cemetery. I never thought I could miss anybody as much as I miss that little man.

I think thats about it for today. So much for writing everyday. I tried there for a while, and was doing real good. Either got tired, didnt have anything to say, or the day was just another day. Lets try for every other day.

Have a great weekend.

Peace Out....

6-18-08

YIKES!

Its been a few days since I have been here. Ive been busy. Sorry.

Eric left about an hour or so ago. My GOD, its quiet here. The dog went up to nap, kids are still sleeping and here I sit, alone. Again. This sucks. I miss him already. I think I sent him a text message before he even left my subdivision.

We had a good visit. It started off with me being just a tad bit bitchy, but things got better. I knew I was going to have issues going back to work. Im sorry, Eric.

This time, things were more chill. We kept busy, as I like to do, but it was more relaxed. More comfortable. Like he was supposed to be here. He did drive me crazy, but as he and I discussed, HE thinks its good. Me, well, the jury is still out. Why do I want a man who drives me crazy? I keep telling him I want things simple. Im looking forward to things settling. I will be the first to admit, Im getting used to him. Kinda like a rash that wont go away. I love him. I think about him a lot. If hes sitting next to me or if Im at work, I think about him. Hes smiling from ear to ear right now.

Like I said in the previous blog entry, we went to Joliet to see my girlfriend and her family. We had a great time. The kids had fun, as well as my Kadie girl. I think she slept the whole way home. Pooped out puppy.

Chicago was amazing. After being in Joliet all day on Friday, we slept in Saturday. The kids didnt go with us and that left us to go our own speed and see what we wanted.

We walked a lot! I mean...A LOT. Great way to test the back out. NOT. After popping 4 extra strength Tylenol, I felt better. I only had issues when we sat down. It like the old door whos hinge needs some WD40. I managed.

We went to Navy Pier. Wrigley Field. Rode the 'L'. Took a water taxi. Went on the Ferris Wheel. Saw Millennium Park. Saw some little kid run around with his underwear on backwards. Watched a few minutes of the Puerto Rican parade. Ate at Gino's. Took a TON of pictures. And almost died in a taxi. Needless to say, we were tired after the days activities.

Sunday, a day of rest. Watched the NASCAR race. Yes, after waking Eric up only once, he watched it with me. Then, THEN......DALE JR WON!!!! OMG!!! Eric witnessed Dales first win of the year. The phone calls and the text messages. It was amazing!!! I was happy! It was a great race. A little hairy at the end because he almost ran out of gas, but still a good race.

Monday and Tuesday were pretty chill. We went and saw my Grandma, until she made us leave. I dont know what she was thinking. It was a good visit. Weird, but good. Eric was glad he got to see her.

So now, here I am. Its Wednesday. Hes gone, things will slow down and go back to normal. My poor kids will have to go back to making their own dinner. Its good for 'em.

Im not sure when I will see him again. Hes got things going on in Pitts. Im going to try and get out to see him in July. I have to see what kind of stuff is going on at work and if I can leave, again.

My back is ok. My last therapy session is tomorrow. Am I 100%? No. I doubt I ever will be 100% again. Im on a diet to lose a little. Its going better than I thought it would. Im eating better and walking more. I just need to keep up with the exercises. Thats the part I dont like. Such is life.

All for now. Not much else to report on. Happy Hump Day!

Peace Out....

6-14-08

Time flies when youre having fun.

Eric has been here 3 days now. Hard to believe, really. Hes been quiet. Not typical of him. Ive been crabby. Tired.

We had a great day today. Eric, my two daughters and a boyfriend all went to Joliet to see my girlfriend, Kathy. Eric met her on his first visit out and they got along great. I decided to take the hour drive south to go see her.

We took Eric to the Chicagoland Speedway to show him where the NASCAR race is going to be. We couldnt get in the parking lot, like usual, so we drove to the tunnel entrance. It was open. There was a green light. Kathy floored it. Before we knew it, we were in the infield of the track. I had been inside there one other time, many years ago. Its an awesome feeling to be on the 'inside'.

It didnt take long before the cameras were clicking and pictures and memories were being stored. I was like a kid on Christmas. Even though I had been there once before, to do it again was amazing.

Kathy parked and Eric jumped out. Eric and I stared walking towards the garages. He veered left, I went inside. Everyone caught up, but didnt go in the garages. Chickens. I wanted to be where the cars were. Where the action was. Where my Dale Jr is going to be in a month. After teasing them, and more pictures, they entered this sacred garage area. We then got spotted and kicked out. Probably a good thing. If I was in there much longer, I would have lifted something. A wrench, lug nut or some kind of car part.

We hung out around the cars. Talked to a few of the Richard Petty Driving Experience people. I showed Eric the cars and told him the difference between last years car and this years. Im not really sure that he cared, but hes now informed.

My daughter brought our dog with us. God forbid we leave her in the car. She was running around having a ball. She was running through the infield grass and playing on pit road. More pictures. She was being so damn cute.

We also got to take a van ride around the track at 75 mph. I hadnt done that before. Yeah, it was pretty amazing. Eric opted to stay behind and hold Kadie. He damn near pushed me into the van, so I didnt have much choice in the matter, but to go. He would have loved it though. While on the van ride, I spotted Jimmy Johnsons tire skid marks from last years race. Yeah, he hit pretty hard, and didnt finish the race. um....AWWWWW. NOT! (for me, that was the highlight of last years race. sorry jimmy johnson fans)

After the track, we went back to Kathys to let the kids swim. They had a blast. Water was a little cold, but once they were in, they didnt complain. Much.

Her husband came home, we had dinner and then drove home. We got home around 10.

It was a great day. Beautiful weather. Surrounded by people I love. Heard the engines start. The smile couldnt have been wiped from my face.

Eric is asleep now. Snoring. Yes dear, youre snoring. We are going to Chicago tomorrow. Another big day. Im looking forward to relaxing a little on Sunday, maybe. We shall see.

Im glad hes here. Ive missed him. We are going to have a great day tomorrow. 85 and Sunny!
There will be pictures to post after this trip.

Peace Out...

6-9-08

I went back today. I tried the excuse this morning that my back hurt. Didnt work. I will try again tomorrow. I can honestly say it doesnt feel great. Its just, ok.

I made it through 5 hours. I was only supposed to be there 4, but we all know how things change. My boss came in at 9, when he was supposed to be there at 8. What gives? He tells me his new thing is to go to the gym Monday through Thursday, before work. Another excuse to get away from his very controlling wife.

So we sat down, and he dumped in front of me 3 months of crap I had to go through. Then he told me that 'my girls' did ok while I was gone. Things can be better. They should be doing their jobs more efficiently. They should show up to work. They shouldnt leave early on Friday. They should know to check the computer. They need to clean up after themselves. blah blah blah blah...for 15 minutes, I listened to this crap. How am I supposed to change whats already been done? Wasnt he there to 'supervise'? Apparently not!

After this lovely talk, we walked the sales floor. That went ok. Not much had changed. Nothing was really new. He managed to point out to me a few things that are now MY responsibility to fix and or clean up. I just smiled.

When the walk was over, we went to a computer. Keep in mind, these computers are over 10 years old. Slow? Doesnt even come close. When you click enter, it literally takes a minute for the page to load. I had to hit the patience button many times with that computer today.

I got my stuff to print up and I started 'working'. hm. Im not sure it was work. It was more like fixing the problems that he created. My team was supposed to have 138 work hours. They got 54. I have a problem with that. So I went to him and questioned it. Like usual, he opens mouth, inserts foot. He didnt know what to say. So now tomorrow, I need to get my girls to work Friday so we can get this weeks work done. I hope they dont mind.

All the execs went into a meeting at around 1130 with our new store manager. That was an interesting introduction as well. He didnt know me, I didnt know him. We questioned each other like it was an interrogation. Afterwards I was able to laugh at the situation, so was he. He seems like a nice man. I hope he and I can see eye to eye.

I left work at almost 1pm. I didnt say goodbye to anybody, I just left. I figure, everything will be there tomorrow. Including a note from my boss asking why I left without saying anything. He will just have to deal. He wont be in the office for the rest of the week, which is a wonderful thing in itself.

I was welcomed back with open arms. After being gone so long, you know who your true friends really are. Sad, but true. I am lucky to say that most everyone was happy to see me. I can name the 3 or 4 that cursed me as I walked by. I just smile at them and say 'hi'.

Im going back tomorrow. My days will be from 6 to 10am. It will work out great while Eric is here. He will be ready to go when I get home. We have plans.....lol. Should be an interesting visit.

Right now, its 945pm. Im tired and sore. Its only Monday. Tomorrow I need to get some kind of food in this house and I need to clean up the house a little bit. I cant wait to see Eric. I miss him.

Off to bed I go.

Peace Out...

6-8-08

Hey, its been a few days. Sorry.

So, I go back to work tomorrow. Am I looking forward to it? Uh, NO. Duh. I had to go see the Dr again to get released. That went ok. He didnt really have much to say.

I also saw the pain Dr. He wanted to give me 3 different shots in my back. WTF? I told him that I really didnt want him sticking me. He understood then told me that Im 40, and he sees this everyday. Ok, so if he sees this everyday, why did he want to give me 3 shots? I was told that if the pain isnt manageable, make an appointment. Will do, Peace out!

Kids are all done with school. Im patiently waiting for the report cards to get here. How bad can it be?

Eric is coming for a visit this week. Yeah, Im pretty excited. We have plans this time for most of the time hes going to be here, including a weekend trip to Chicago. I would like to keep busy this time. I will be working, but only half days, so I think this will work out great. We had such a great time in Ohio, I have no doubts we will have just as much fun when he comes here.

I havent seen my Gram in over a week. There was a horrible flu bug floating around and as far as I know, the Nursing home is still closed. My brother and I signed her up for hospice, so they have been visiting her. I hope to go up there on Monday or Tuesday.

Well, thats about all Ive got. Not much going on. Nothing is new.

Peace Out....

6-4-08

Hi...

I was going to write in here yesterday, and I did for about 30 minutes, then I deleted everything. I was going to give my two cents as to this past weekend, then decided against it. Eric pretty much summed it up. Sure, he missed some things, but thats ok. It was 'our' weekend.

I havent been out to see my Gram. The nursing home is on lock down. They say its the flu. I know better. They dont close a nursing home to everyone for almost a week because of the flu. When they do let us back in, shes going to be pissed because we havent been in to see her. She doesnt care about the reasons why, shes still going to want to know why we havent seen her.

School is out tomorrow. They all survived another year. They didnt all pass, but they survived. Once again, my oldest daughter just doesnt get it. Why is it that kids think that life will just fall into their lap?? Why do they also think that mom is ALWAYS going to be there to bail them out of the jam they have gotten themselves into?

I have a Dr appointment today. Im not really sure whats going to happen. Im a little nervous. The thought of him sticking a needle in my back just doesnt sound good to me. I have a pain tolerance thats off the chart, but when you say 'needle and spine' in the same sentence, I freak just a little bit. ITS MY SPINE!! It has all those bones and shit wrapped around it for a reason. I have 2 hrs and 42 minutes til I meet my Dr. I think I need a drink.

We had nice rains come through here yesterday. Typically spring is in April, its waiting until June this year. Maybe we will have fall in December. That would be nice. According to the Weather Channel, we are supposed to get rain until next Wednesday. Cool. I like rain.

My dog, Kadie, doesnt like the rain. While the kids were at school, it was nice and quiet here. I was online talking to Eric, duh, and lightening hit near by. My poor little dog, jumped up on my lap and was shaking like a leaf. She was panting and sweating. It scared me a little bit. How do you calm a dog down whos scared of the rain?? Why MY dog? Needless to say, this coming week with all the rain were supposed to get, should be interesting. Thankfully the kids will be home to help calm her.

Eric is coming out here in 2 weeks, I think. My youngest wants to go to Chicago, and so does he. So, she told him to come out so we can go, and he said, OK! She said he can stay a week. Im a little scared. The last time he was here for a week, was real hard for me. I am taking into consideration Im not going to have as many people here this time, so things should go better. I will also be back at work. He gets to be mom while Im at work. lol. Wait, whats wrong with this picture? Im bringing home the 'bacon'. oh well.....

Im still riding high from our weekend trip. I miss him. I missed him before I left the state of Ohio. I cant say it enough.....We had such a great time together! Thank you, again, Eric.

I think thats about it for today. Happy Hump Day!

Peace Out....

6-1-08

Wow, that was weird typing the date. I cant believe this year is already half over. Time sure does fly, the older you get.

Im home. Eric is home.

We had the most amazing weekend. I couldnt have asked for anything more. The weather was simply beautiful. The company was amazing. The city of Toledo, well, it was pretty cool. The hotel was lovely. The drive wasnt that bad, even though I almost got killed and I took 90 west instead of taking 80 west. Small detour through Chicago. Love that city anyway, so no biggie.

Im just not sure what to say.

We went to the Toledo Zoo. Amazing. Debs Ice Cream. Tasty. Steak....Ciminos? HOT PLATE. Toledo Art Museum. Beautiful. Glass Pavilion. Special. Lake Erie. Sunset. Jacuzzi. Bubbly.

My girlfriend sent me a text while I was on my way home. She wanted me to rate my weekend between a 1 and 10. 10 being the best, of course. I sent her back......... 10. Then she called me.

Eric and I just clicked all weekend.

I have nothing more to say. I cant wait to see what he posts.

Thank you for a very, very special weekend, Eric. I will remember it always. I love you.

Peace Out....