Just a quickie as Im going out of town shortly. Im just catching my breath for a minute.
All is well here. My brother and dog have been found. They were found actually laying in bed sleeping. Hes home, safe and sound. Im not sure where he went nor when he returned. Doesnt really matter much.
My Gram was very tired today. I visited with her for just a short time as she kept falling asleep. Regardless of how tired she was, she still looked good. While in her prime, which was not that long ago, she was always worried about how she looked. Her hair was never right. She often said, 'girls these days just dont know how to give a good permanent'. Was there ever a good one?
hm...I dont have much today. Im thinking about my drive and know Im going to hit traffic. Thats ok. It gives me something to look at.
Have a great weekend.
Peace Out....
Friday, May 30, 2008
Thursday, May 29, 2008
5-29-08
Just a few random thoughts. I may add to this later, Im not sure yet.
*Dont stick a bunch of Jelly Bellies in your mouth unless they are all the same color! EW
*English teachers are wonderful human beings. I never liked English in school. I never liked my English teachers. I like one now. Im still trying to figure out after 25+ years......Why did you make us chop up sentences and figure out what the nouns, pronouns and verbs were? All those arrows, slashes and circles around the sentence making a mess of things. I dont use that in everyday life. Im sure my blogs show why I was supposed to learn it, but...
*Toledo, OH has a free Art Museum. I will tell you about it on Monday.
*Car insurance is too damn expensive!!! My kids wonder why they dont have their license yet and I dont let them drive my car! Perhaps if they had to pay it, they would understand. I dont think Im a bad mom for not letting them drive around town. They are just starting life. They have a lot to learn and plenty of time to drive.
*I have come to the conclusion that my Gram will never remember who I am. Yesterday, I was Martha. Who the hell is Martha?? Then she laughs at me like shes pulled a funny. God, I hope she knows who I am. She does look good and she got the catheter. For almost 2 hours, she said she had to pee. lol
*I miss my cat George. Im not getting another one. Im not getting another one. Im not getting anot.....
*Birds like to shit on dark red cars! I know, its like a big target. Even more points if they make it in the sunroof. That hasnt happened to me.....YET.
*I have a 5 day vacation coming up in a few weeks. My Dale Jr is going to be in town for the race at Chicagoland Speedway. Yeah, did I mention that I have all access pit passes?? OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG!!!! IM GONNA SEE DALE JR UP CLOSE!!! HOLY SHIT!!!! Im ok now. This feeling comes and goes. Ask Eric. Hes witnessed it.
*If you see a guy walking or hitching a ride with a black lab puppy, please let me know. Ive lost my brother and his dog Snowflake. He will really appreciate a ride to, um, where ever hes going.
*Plants die if you dont water them. DOH!
*Lynette is....my rock! A shiny, bright, brilliant, faceted Diamond. I love her with all my heart.
*My Blog writings are NOT crap. They are meaningful thoughts and feelings. Im sorry I said that yesterday.
Peace Out.....
Ok.....Im back for a quick second. Something amazing to me happened today after I posted. I have to share.....
I finally got off the computer and went to take a shower. Of course, just before I step in, the doorbell rings. My dog is barking and Im trying to get dressed to shut her up. Wondering who is at the door. Nobody visits me during the day.....hell anytime for that matter. I open the door and theres nobody there. What the hell. I look down and there is a large box in front of my door. My first thought, it was a head. lol. You never know! The box said perishable, and well, a head would perish.
I picked up the box thinking now it was a box of fruit. I dont know. I put it on the counter and opened it up. Inside the box was a styrofoam cooler. I take the lid off and there was bubble wrap. I move the bubble wrap and there are 48 candy bars and a large envelope.
The candy bars are Big Mo bars. Dale Earnhardt Jrs candy bar that came out earlier this year. Of course I had to buy them when they came out. I love him. I actually bought 4. Two to put away and two to open. They had a contest going on that I had to try to win. Grand Prize was a weekend in North Carolina with Dale Jr and going to some races. Pretty exciting.
I didnt win the Grand Prize, but I won 2nd. 100 lucky people in the U.S. won the candy bars. I was so close to winning the Grand Prize. Maybe next time.
Its a bunch of damn candy bars, but I think its cool. I never win anything and to be such a fan of his and win something was pretty awesome. My kids like the prize. They all dug in. Teenagers!
Im now done with my blog for the day....
Peace Out.......
*Dont stick a bunch of Jelly Bellies in your mouth unless they are all the same color! EW
*English teachers are wonderful human beings. I never liked English in school. I never liked my English teachers. I like one now. Im still trying to figure out after 25+ years......Why did you make us chop up sentences and figure out what the nouns, pronouns and verbs were? All those arrows, slashes and circles around the sentence making a mess of things. I dont use that in everyday life. Im sure my blogs show why I was supposed to learn it, but...
*Toledo, OH has a free Art Museum. I will tell you about it on Monday.
*Car insurance is too damn expensive!!! My kids wonder why they dont have their license yet and I dont let them drive my car! Perhaps if they had to pay it, they would understand. I dont think Im a bad mom for not letting them drive around town. They are just starting life. They have a lot to learn and plenty of time to drive.
*I have come to the conclusion that my Gram will never remember who I am. Yesterday, I was Martha. Who the hell is Martha?? Then she laughs at me like shes pulled a funny. God, I hope she knows who I am. She does look good and she got the catheter. For almost 2 hours, she said she had to pee. lol
*I miss my cat George. Im not getting another one. Im not getting another one. Im not getting anot.....
*Birds like to shit on dark red cars! I know, its like a big target. Even more points if they make it in the sunroof. That hasnt happened to me.....YET.
*I have a 5 day vacation coming up in a few weeks. My Dale Jr is going to be in town for the race at Chicagoland Speedway. Yeah, did I mention that I have all access pit passes?? OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG!!!! IM GONNA SEE DALE JR UP CLOSE!!! HOLY SHIT!!!! Im ok now. This feeling comes and goes. Ask Eric. Hes witnessed it.
*If you see a guy walking or hitching a ride with a black lab puppy, please let me know. Ive lost my brother and his dog Snowflake. He will really appreciate a ride to, um, where ever hes going.
*Plants die if you dont water them. DOH!
*Lynette is....my rock! A shiny, bright, brilliant, faceted Diamond. I love her with all my heart.
*My Blog writings are NOT crap. They are meaningful thoughts and feelings. Im sorry I said that yesterday.
Peace Out.....
Ok.....Im back for a quick second. Something amazing to me happened today after I posted. I have to share.....
I finally got off the computer and went to take a shower. Of course, just before I step in, the doorbell rings. My dog is barking and Im trying to get dressed to shut her up. Wondering who is at the door. Nobody visits me during the day.....hell anytime for that matter. I open the door and theres nobody there. What the hell. I look down and there is a large box in front of my door. My first thought, it was a head. lol. You never know! The box said perishable, and well, a head would perish.
I picked up the box thinking now it was a box of fruit. I dont know. I put it on the counter and opened it up. Inside the box was a styrofoam cooler. I take the lid off and there was bubble wrap. I move the bubble wrap and there are 48 candy bars and a large envelope.
The candy bars are Big Mo bars. Dale Earnhardt Jrs candy bar that came out earlier this year. Of course I had to buy them when they came out. I love him. I actually bought 4. Two to put away and two to open. They had a contest going on that I had to try to win. Grand Prize was a weekend in North Carolina with Dale Jr and going to some races. Pretty exciting.
I didnt win the Grand Prize, but I won 2nd. 100 lucky people in the U.S. won the candy bars. I was so close to winning the Grand Prize. Maybe next time.
Its a bunch of damn candy bars, but I think its cool. I never win anything and to be such a fan of his and win something was pretty awesome. My kids like the prize. They all dug in. Teenagers!
Im now done with my blog for the day....
Peace Out.......
Wednesday, May 28, 2008
5-28-08
Hi
Im laying on my bed waiting for the dryer to buzz. Im not really comfortable at the moment. Beds are supposed to be comfortable, right? Hm. My bed is comfortable, Im not.
I didnt blog yesterday. Sorry. I had an Eric kinda day where I didnt have anything to say. Well, I did have things to say, just didnt say them.
I appreciate everyone sending me emails and posts. Im getting to know all these names Eric talks about so often. Please be patient with my return emails, you will hear from me. Just may be a day or two.
I had PT yesterday. I still have more pain than I think I should. My PTist (lol) and I agreed that maybe I need a second opinion. Im sure my insurance wont pay for that and God knows I cant afford it. Im at a crossroad and Im not sure what direction to take. I know, with a little patience, I will know what to do. I have a doctors appointment next week. I will see what he says.
It was cold here in Northern Illinois yesterday. At one point, I seriously considered turning my furnace on. I dont think it got much warmer than 50ish and the wind was just ripping through my house. Where the hell is the warm weather?? Global warming?? Global cooling is more like it. I cant wait to move to the South!
Eric and I are doing ok. I think. We have talked a lot this past week on things we need to 'fix' with each other. A small step in the right direction, I think. Im not sure what else to say about him. I love him. Hes amazing. He can get a smile out of me every once in a while. :)
We are going to try and see each other before I go back to work. Im not sure when that is, but it will be soon. I suspect next week, which will make our 'hooking up' a little difficult. Will keep everyone posted on what we decide to do.
My Gram is doing ok. Im going to go see her after lunch. Lunch is a bad time for me to see her. Its not her, its everyone else. I feel so sorry for these people that cant feed themselves. There isnt nearly enough staff to help them out either. Its depressing. I wish that she didnt have to be there, but we had no other choices. This will be something I will have to live with for the rest of my life. It will be a dark cloud. I just hope at some point, she doesnt come back and punish me for putting her in there.
Kids are almost done with school. Next week are finals. Oh I cant wait to see how well my kids did this year. I only have one child that is causing my gray hairs. Thank God. 1 out of 4 is pretty good in my books. Im not sure what her plans for the future are. They change daily. I think her newest plan is to move into an apartment with her boyfriend. Hm. We shall see where that goes. She tried to move out a few months ago. I said tried. She doesnt understand that you need credit and references and MONEY to move out. She didnt make it past her room. She did manage to 'spring clean' while packing. lol....I can laugh now.
Summer. Vacation. Hell, Ive been on 'vacation' since March 24th. Some vacation. I cant complain of being tired when I go back. Im rested. That rested feeling wont last for more than 2 days. My wake up time is 230am. I dont have to be to work until 4, but I need to be AWAKE before I leave. I also am the morning ride for 2 guys I work with. Typically I leave my house at 330, pick them up, and arrive 5 minutes before the doors open. I work my 8 or so hours come home and work for another 8 or so hours. Thats life.
Ive had a few questions from my viewers on what I do at 4am. Well, I will tell you. I have 3 girls that work for me and 1 signing guy. Signing guy, he puts up new signs around the store. Yes, he is busy. I keep him busy most days. A typical week, we will get 2 very large pallets of signing for a week. I also found it hard to believe when I started this job. Such a waste in the end.
My girls. I love my girls. I refer to them as, 'my girls'. They are young. Young enough to be mine, almost. According to them, I am the best boss they have EVER had. I question how many jobs they have had before this one. Regardless, Im the best! Im proud.
So, my girls are responsible for doing all the work I give them in a day. lol. It is their responsibility to reset aisles in the store that have gone clearance or just need resetting. Typically our store, and Im sure its like this in most stores, is busy from December to May and June until October. Departments go clearance depending on the time of year. When I go back, even though school is just ending, we will be resetting our 'Back to School' set to get ready for school. Makes no sense, but it does. Have to keep ahead. Always need to be ahead.
Any more questions? I know that was very vague, but I really dont want to bore you more so than you are now. My team resets the store. Period. What do I do??? I tell them what to do. I do all the little things to make their job as easy for them as possible. Im 'support' help. I deal with my boss, asshole, so they dont have to. I love my job. I would love it more if I liked my boss. Im not even going to talk about him today. When I go back, you will hear plenty, Im sure.
Im not going to re-read this. It would get deleted. Im sorry that you had to read such crap today. I dont have much to say. This week has been quiet. Quiet is good. I will try not to bore tomorrow.
Peace Out.....
Im laying on my bed waiting for the dryer to buzz. Im not really comfortable at the moment. Beds are supposed to be comfortable, right? Hm. My bed is comfortable, Im not.
I didnt blog yesterday. Sorry. I had an Eric kinda day where I didnt have anything to say. Well, I did have things to say, just didnt say them.
I appreciate everyone sending me emails and posts. Im getting to know all these names Eric talks about so often. Please be patient with my return emails, you will hear from me. Just may be a day or two.
I had PT yesterday. I still have more pain than I think I should. My PTist (lol) and I agreed that maybe I need a second opinion. Im sure my insurance wont pay for that and God knows I cant afford it. Im at a crossroad and Im not sure what direction to take. I know, with a little patience, I will know what to do. I have a doctors appointment next week. I will see what he says.
It was cold here in Northern Illinois yesterday. At one point, I seriously considered turning my furnace on. I dont think it got much warmer than 50ish and the wind was just ripping through my house. Where the hell is the warm weather?? Global warming?? Global cooling is more like it. I cant wait to move to the South!
Eric and I are doing ok. I think. We have talked a lot this past week on things we need to 'fix' with each other. A small step in the right direction, I think. Im not sure what else to say about him. I love him. Hes amazing. He can get a smile out of me every once in a while. :)
We are going to try and see each other before I go back to work. Im not sure when that is, but it will be soon. I suspect next week, which will make our 'hooking up' a little difficult. Will keep everyone posted on what we decide to do.
My Gram is doing ok. Im going to go see her after lunch. Lunch is a bad time for me to see her. Its not her, its everyone else. I feel so sorry for these people that cant feed themselves. There isnt nearly enough staff to help them out either. Its depressing. I wish that she didnt have to be there, but we had no other choices. This will be something I will have to live with for the rest of my life. It will be a dark cloud. I just hope at some point, she doesnt come back and punish me for putting her in there.
Kids are almost done with school. Next week are finals. Oh I cant wait to see how well my kids did this year. I only have one child that is causing my gray hairs. Thank God. 1 out of 4 is pretty good in my books. Im not sure what her plans for the future are. They change daily. I think her newest plan is to move into an apartment with her boyfriend. Hm. We shall see where that goes. She tried to move out a few months ago. I said tried. She doesnt understand that you need credit and references and MONEY to move out. She didnt make it past her room. She did manage to 'spring clean' while packing. lol....I can laugh now.
Summer. Vacation. Hell, Ive been on 'vacation' since March 24th. Some vacation. I cant complain of being tired when I go back. Im rested. That rested feeling wont last for more than 2 days. My wake up time is 230am. I dont have to be to work until 4, but I need to be AWAKE before I leave. I also am the morning ride for 2 guys I work with. Typically I leave my house at 330, pick them up, and arrive 5 minutes before the doors open. I work my 8 or so hours come home and work for another 8 or so hours. Thats life.
Ive had a few questions from my viewers on what I do at 4am. Well, I will tell you. I have 3 girls that work for me and 1 signing guy. Signing guy, he puts up new signs around the store. Yes, he is busy. I keep him busy most days. A typical week, we will get 2 very large pallets of signing for a week. I also found it hard to believe when I started this job. Such a waste in the end.
My girls. I love my girls. I refer to them as, 'my girls'. They are young. Young enough to be mine, almost. According to them, I am the best boss they have EVER had. I question how many jobs they have had before this one. Regardless, Im the best! Im proud.
So, my girls are responsible for doing all the work I give them in a day. lol. It is their responsibility to reset aisles in the store that have gone clearance or just need resetting. Typically our store, and Im sure its like this in most stores, is busy from December to May and June until October. Departments go clearance depending on the time of year. When I go back, even though school is just ending, we will be resetting our 'Back to School' set to get ready for school. Makes no sense, but it does. Have to keep ahead. Always need to be ahead.
Any more questions? I know that was very vague, but I really dont want to bore you more so than you are now. My team resets the store. Period. What do I do??? I tell them what to do. I do all the little things to make their job as easy for them as possible. Im 'support' help. I deal with my boss, asshole, so they dont have to. I love my job. I would love it more if I liked my boss. Im not even going to talk about him today. When I go back, you will hear plenty, Im sure.
Im not going to re-read this. It would get deleted. Im sorry that you had to read such crap today. I dont have much to say. This week has been quiet. Quiet is good. I will try not to bore tomorrow.
Peace Out.....
Monday, May 26, 2008
5-26-08
I told Eric today that I cant believe he doesnt blog everyday seeing as he has so much to say. He blogged, and didnt have anything to say. Go figure.
I understand how he may not have anything to say. Im like that today. As I sit here though, something will come up.
Im addicted to Facebook. I get this little 'high' from the Owned application. I have managed to make myself over 2 million 'dollars' in a very short period of time. How can I apply this to my life? Eric jokes with me telling me I should make a 'Facebook for Dummies' book. hm
Its another one of those days. Its finally warm outside. I had to turn my ceiling fan on. This is a good thing. Its quite windy outside. Almost too windy to do anything. I enjoy going out an tossing the frisbee with my kids or even playing ball with my dog. Shes scared of the wind so that kills that idea. She weighs about 7 lbs. My guess is that shes afraid shes going to end up like Toto in the Wizard of Oz. (that would be cool)
Kids are all gone. I have started cleaning up the house. The only time I can do it is when they are gone. Seems they manage to make a mess quicker than I can clean it up. Why do I clean up after them? If they dont do it, who will.
I was up in my girls room yesterday looking for a pen. Mind you, I dont go in their room. If they have laundry, they better bring it. Yes, I do the laundry too. Really, I dont mind. Anyway. So I never found a pen but I did find most of my silverware, glasses, plates. I think there are more in their room than there are in the cupboard. I need to lay down the law on this deal. I laugh at that. Lay down the law. Thats funny.
For the past hour or so, I have been watching some kids slip & slide. They are in the backyard, so when I pass the window I watch them for a few minutes. This one little girl, she must be 4 or 5, keeps sliding down on her face! She runs and SMACK! right on her face. Ouch? She gets up and does it all over again. Stupid kid. lol
This silence is golden.
The nursing home called. My gram isnt peeing now. They had to drain her. For whatever reason, she doesnt have a catheter. Im not sure why, but she doesnt. So when she has to go, they need to put her on a bedpan. Isnt a catheter easier? Im burned out and tired. I can only imagine what she is feeling.
Im not getting anything done sitting here.
Peace Out...
I understand how he may not have anything to say. Im like that today. As I sit here though, something will come up.
Im addicted to Facebook. I get this little 'high' from the Owned application. I have managed to make myself over 2 million 'dollars' in a very short period of time. How can I apply this to my life? Eric jokes with me telling me I should make a 'Facebook for Dummies' book. hm
Its another one of those days. Its finally warm outside. I had to turn my ceiling fan on. This is a good thing. Its quite windy outside. Almost too windy to do anything. I enjoy going out an tossing the frisbee with my kids or even playing ball with my dog. Shes scared of the wind so that kills that idea. She weighs about 7 lbs. My guess is that shes afraid shes going to end up like Toto in the Wizard of Oz. (that would be cool)
Kids are all gone. I have started cleaning up the house. The only time I can do it is when they are gone. Seems they manage to make a mess quicker than I can clean it up. Why do I clean up after them? If they dont do it, who will.
I was up in my girls room yesterday looking for a pen. Mind you, I dont go in their room. If they have laundry, they better bring it. Yes, I do the laundry too. Really, I dont mind. Anyway. So I never found a pen but I did find most of my silverware, glasses, plates. I think there are more in their room than there are in the cupboard. I need to lay down the law on this deal. I laugh at that. Lay down the law. Thats funny.
For the past hour or so, I have been watching some kids slip & slide. They are in the backyard, so when I pass the window I watch them for a few minutes. This one little girl, she must be 4 or 5, keeps sliding down on her face! She runs and SMACK! right on her face. Ouch? She gets up and does it all over again. Stupid kid. lol
This silence is golden.
The nursing home called. My gram isnt peeing now. They had to drain her. For whatever reason, she doesnt have a catheter. Im not sure why, but she doesnt. So when she has to go, they need to put her on a bedpan. Isnt a catheter easier? Im burned out and tired. I can only imagine what she is feeling.
Im not getting anything done sitting here.
Peace Out...
Sunday, May 25, 2008
5-25-08
Another nice day outside. Im inside, again. We had a nice little rain come through here a while ago. My dog is scared of lightening.
I had 2 Robins perched outside my window for about 45 minutes this morning. Mom and youngster. I got some photos of them. I got a pretty cool picture of my cat, Bob, as well. Of course he wanted to eat the little bird. No such luck, Bob.
My son and daughter are gone. My youngest is home with me. Avril is cranked in her bedroom.
I didnt get much sleep last night. I went to bed somewhere between 3 and 330 this morning. Part of me wasnt tired, or overly tired. The other part was thinking about stuff. Mostly Eric stuff.
Im not really sure what I was thinking. Just going over past phone conversations, instant message conversations and time he spent here conversations. Man thats a lot of talking! I didnt come to any certain conclusion with him. I didnt solve any problems. I didnt come up with anything about myself I need to change or improve, even though I do need to change or improve. I was just thinking.
Eric is a good man. I know this. He is what I want in a man. Sweet, gentle, caring, loving, passionate. Why do the little things drive me crazy? Im pretty sure that things will iron itself out. I do know that we wont always see eye to eye on everything. Who does? Theres always compromise. I think its one of those things I need to change or improve.
Talking to him this morning he told me that there are things he needs to change with himself as well. That is a decision he has to make for himself. I have long since given up trying to change somebody. Learning the hard way, I have found, it doesnt work.
What else is there?
I guess nothing.
Once again, Happy Memorial Day.
Peace Out....
(i love you, eric)
I had 2 Robins perched outside my window for about 45 minutes this morning. Mom and youngster. I got some photos of them. I got a pretty cool picture of my cat, Bob, as well. Of course he wanted to eat the little bird. No such luck, Bob.
My son and daughter are gone. My youngest is home with me. Avril is cranked in her bedroom.
I didnt get much sleep last night. I went to bed somewhere between 3 and 330 this morning. Part of me wasnt tired, or overly tired. The other part was thinking about stuff. Mostly Eric stuff.
Im not really sure what I was thinking. Just going over past phone conversations, instant message conversations and time he spent here conversations. Man thats a lot of talking! I didnt come to any certain conclusion with him. I didnt solve any problems. I didnt come up with anything about myself I need to change or improve, even though I do need to change or improve. I was just thinking.
Eric is a good man. I know this. He is what I want in a man. Sweet, gentle, caring, loving, passionate. Why do the little things drive me crazy? Im pretty sure that things will iron itself out. I do know that we wont always see eye to eye on everything. Who does? Theres always compromise. I think its one of those things I need to change or improve.
Talking to him this morning he told me that there are things he needs to change with himself as well. That is a decision he has to make for himself. I have long since given up trying to change somebody. Learning the hard way, I have found, it doesnt work.
What else is there?
I guess nothing.
Once again, Happy Memorial Day.
Peace Out....
(i love you, eric)
Saturday, May 24, 2008
5-24-08
Another day, another post.
It was a rough day yesterday for Eric and I. We didnt quite see eye to eye on some things. Its ok, this will happen. I think distance has played a part as well.
Its really hard when the one you want to be with is 500 miles away. I want to be with Eric. The only way I know this relationship is going to work is if we are together. Makes sense. I would hate for us to talk so much and know each other, then only to move in with each other and not get along.
How does one make a long distance relationship work?
Communication is good. We do that. A lot of it as a matter of fact. I question if we can talk too much. Yeah, thats not possible. Theres no such thing as talking too much.
It scares me a little that he is so confident in this relationship. How does he know for sure that he loves me as much as he does? I love him, but as I told him, I dont love him as much as he loves me. Why? How is it so easy for him and Im having such a problem with it? Not that Im having a problem loving him, but why dont I love him as much? Will I? Hes very confident that I will love him that much. How does he know this?? Does he have a crystal ball he looks into??
I dont get it.
Are these questions valid?
I know that there are a few people out there that have the answers to these questions. You can email me. I want to know what youre thinking.
Aside from that, Im ok. My Gram is ok. Everyday is hard. Period. Her doctor was in to see her the other day while I was there. He said shes getting better. WHAT THE FUCK?!? Two days before that we were told she wasnt doing well at all. I wish they would make up their minds. Shes 99 years old and failing, but the doctor is confident that shes going to be around to see 100.
The look on my brothers face when I told him that, was priceless.
I dont have a doctors appointment until June 4th. Still no work. I found out this doctor Im going to see wont even release me to work. Hes going to release me back to my doctor. What a fuckin waste of time and energy. Just sign here on the dotted line and let me go back to work. Simple.
Its beautiful outside. I didnt spend more than 30 minutes out there today. What the hell is wrong with me?
I may see if the kids want to go to Chicago tomorrow. They have been wanting to go. Its not really an expensive trip. I can spend the day there with them for under $75. Personally, I dont think thats bad. Typically it depends on how hungry they are. Thats the killer.
I just flipped on ESPN2 to be prepared for the race that starts in 10 minutes, and there is a parade on. Its an IRL parade in Indianapolis, IN. (IRL, Indy Racing League) I had no idea they had a parade for the Indy 500. Cool!
OK
I guess I have nothing else. I look forward to those emails.
Have a great Memorial Day Weekend.
Peace Out....
It was a rough day yesterday for Eric and I. We didnt quite see eye to eye on some things. Its ok, this will happen. I think distance has played a part as well.
Its really hard when the one you want to be with is 500 miles away. I want to be with Eric. The only way I know this relationship is going to work is if we are together. Makes sense. I would hate for us to talk so much and know each other, then only to move in with each other and not get along.
How does one make a long distance relationship work?
Communication is good. We do that. A lot of it as a matter of fact. I question if we can talk too much. Yeah, thats not possible. Theres no such thing as talking too much.
It scares me a little that he is so confident in this relationship. How does he know for sure that he loves me as much as he does? I love him, but as I told him, I dont love him as much as he loves me. Why? How is it so easy for him and Im having such a problem with it? Not that Im having a problem loving him, but why dont I love him as much? Will I? Hes very confident that I will love him that much. How does he know this?? Does he have a crystal ball he looks into??
I dont get it.
Are these questions valid?
I know that there are a few people out there that have the answers to these questions. You can email me. I want to know what youre thinking.
Aside from that, Im ok. My Gram is ok. Everyday is hard. Period. Her doctor was in to see her the other day while I was there. He said shes getting better. WHAT THE FUCK?!? Two days before that we were told she wasnt doing well at all. I wish they would make up their minds. Shes 99 years old and failing, but the doctor is confident that shes going to be around to see 100.
The look on my brothers face when I told him that, was priceless.
I dont have a doctors appointment until June 4th. Still no work. I found out this doctor Im going to see wont even release me to work. Hes going to release me back to my doctor. What a fuckin waste of time and energy. Just sign here on the dotted line and let me go back to work. Simple.
Its beautiful outside. I didnt spend more than 30 minutes out there today. What the hell is wrong with me?
I may see if the kids want to go to Chicago tomorrow. They have been wanting to go. Its not really an expensive trip. I can spend the day there with them for under $75. Personally, I dont think thats bad. Typically it depends on how hungry they are. Thats the killer.
I just flipped on ESPN2 to be prepared for the race that starts in 10 minutes, and there is a parade on. Its an IRL parade in Indianapolis, IN. (IRL, Indy Racing League) I had no idea they had a parade for the Indy 500. Cool!
OK
I guess I have nothing else. I look forward to those emails.
Have a great Memorial Day Weekend.
Peace Out....
Friday, May 23, 2008
5-23-08
What to say.
Its been an uneventful day. Its cold outside. Like in the high 50's cold. Tomorrow its going to be much warmer. Thank GOD!
The kids are off until Tuesday. Im pretty sure they are going to their fathers house. Its been 2 months since they have spent any time with them. They arent complaining. The one thing about joint custody is that my kids are old enough to decide where they want to be.
Thats all I want to say about him.
I dont have much to say today. Im sitting here staring at my screen. Im blank.
I should clarify something. Eric is moving to North Carolina as well. As it stands right now, we are going to be neighbors because he doesnt know how to decorate a house. (insert laugh)
I just erased a bunch of stuff. Damn it.
I didnt want to go there. It was funny. It would have been funny to Eric and I, but not everybody. I dont think. I guess it depends on your sense of humor. Today my sense of humor is a little whack. I blame it on the weather.
Random thoughts.....
I talked to my girlfriend about my obituary. This idea has since grown. She and I are going to do it together. Decorate a box called 'The Funeral Box' and include what we feel is important.
Its really smart. I think everyone should do it. My daughter was home while I was on the phone talking about it, and she thanked me for this idea. She knows the stress it takes for a funeral and all the preparations. At 18, shes been to too many funerals.
My son is so handsome. He thinks he has mad skills. What IS a mad skill?
My daughter, my youngest, has met a boy online. My baby. Dear God...! This boy lives in NY. I think its far enough, but not really. He has just left for Italy for a year. (Im so damn jealous) That may be far enough away. Im not sure yet. Hes 3 years older than her and this is her first real 'crush'. Or at least that I know of. Shes my shy, quite baby. Shes too young for a boyfriend type. I dont think she will ever be old enough.
My cat is snoring. Rico! Hes waiting for his dinner. Not 5 o'clock, I tell him. He went and laid down. lol. Hes the smartest damn cat I have ever seen. He comes when hes called. He will sit on command. We 'talk'. He doesnt like Eric too much. He will be cordial, but thats where he draws the line. Eric has taken his spot in bed. Rico doesnt adjust to change well when it comes to the bed. I need to post a picture of my baby. Hes a Garfield looking cat. Weighs in at about 20 lbs. My baby.
Ok here comes Bob, my gray cat. He can tell time better than Rico. Rico has now gotten up and is sitting next to me. 'Talking'
Im done. Going to take the kids to their fathers in a little bit, when they are ready. Talk to my Eric for a bit.
Peace Out.....
Its been an uneventful day. Its cold outside. Like in the high 50's cold. Tomorrow its going to be much warmer. Thank GOD!
The kids are off until Tuesday. Im pretty sure they are going to their fathers house. Its been 2 months since they have spent any time with them. They arent complaining. The one thing about joint custody is that my kids are old enough to decide where they want to be.
Thats all I want to say about him.
I dont have much to say today. Im sitting here staring at my screen. Im blank.
I should clarify something. Eric is moving to North Carolina as well. As it stands right now, we are going to be neighbors because he doesnt know how to decorate a house. (insert laugh)
I just erased a bunch of stuff. Damn it.
I didnt want to go there. It was funny. It would have been funny to Eric and I, but not everybody. I dont think. I guess it depends on your sense of humor. Today my sense of humor is a little whack. I blame it on the weather.
Random thoughts.....
I talked to my girlfriend about my obituary. This idea has since grown. She and I are going to do it together. Decorate a box called 'The Funeral Box' and include what we feel is important.
Its really smart. I think everyone should do it. My daughter was home while I was on the phone talking about it, and she thanked me for this idea. She knows the stress it takes for a funeral and all the preparations. At 18, shes been to too many funerals.
My son is so handsome. He thinks he has mad skills. What IS a mad skill?
My daughter, my youngest, has met a boy online. My baby. Dear God...! This boy lives in NY. I think its far enough, but not really. He has just left for Italy for a year. (Im so damn jealous) That may be far enough away. Im not sure yet. Hes 3 years older than her and this is her first real 'crush'. Or at least that I know of. Shes my shy, quite baby. Shes too young for a boyfriend type. I dont think she will ever be old enough.
My cat is snoring. Rico! Hes waiting for his dinner. Not 5 o'clock, I tell him. He went and laid down. lol. Hes the smartest damn cat I have ever seen. He comes when hes called. He will sit on command. We 'talk'. He doesnt like Eric too much. He will be cordial, but thats where he draws the line. Eric has taken his spot in bed. Rico doesnt adjust to change well when it comes to the bed. I need to post a picture of my baby. Hes a Garfield looking cat. Weighs in at about 20 lbs. My baby.
Ok here comes Bob, my gray cat. He can tell time better than Rico. Rico has now gotten up and is sitting next to me. 'Talking'
Im done. Going to take the kids to their fathers in a little bit, when they are ready. Talk to my Eric for a bit.
Peace Out.....
Thursday, May 22, 2008
5-22-08
So I asked for suggestions. I got them. Thanks.
Where do I live. Hm.
I live in the land of corn fields. Along with the corn fields there are also soybean fields. One year its corn, the next its soybeans. A few times a year they spray those fields with either pig or cow shit. Depends on the field and what time of year it is. Oh yes, it smells lovely. If youve never smelled 'that smell', I suggest a nice long drive in the country. When you come upon a farm, take a big whiff. You will get a HINT of the smell. Oh, and Im fortunate enough to live on the edge of town. The nearest corn field is about 4 blocks away. Yay!
Its pretty damn flat here. Ask Eric. He has a lot to say about the flatness of IL. There are trees, but not TREES. My neighborhood is newer. Maybe 10 years old or so and our trees are still somewhat little. We have bunnies, but no squirrels. No trees = no squirrels. They live in trees, ya know. (off the subject of Northern IL to talk about these squirrels........I had a long debate with an old co-worker about squirrels and where they lived. I won. I had to bring in proof they lived in trees.)
We have tornado warnings here in the summer. I have yet to actually see a tornado. Im one of those who stands on the front porch waiting for it to come ripping through my neighborhood. (edge of town, first to get hit....get it?) Im still waiting.
It snows here too. Kids had 5 snow days. Thats a lot for them. I know I mentioned that in a recent blog. I hate snow....I hate winter. I HATE being cold.
Im getting bored with talking about where I live, but theres more.....
I was born and raised here. I lived here for 18 years before my family moved to AZ. I thought it was bad here, jeeeez, move to Kingman, AZ. Thats a whole other blog.
I dont like where I live. I have about 2 years left here then I can move. Joint custody. Ex is an asshole. Its not worth fighting over. I pushed my patience button with him a long time ago. I hope, no, I AM, moving to North Carolina when I do move. Its an ocean, trees, family, friends, lifestyle, NASCAR thing. I have been there a few times and Im in love with that state. Im not sure where Im moving to, I just know I will be there. I hope to get a house and that house will have roots. I want to stay where I move. I havent had roots since I was 18.
What do my kids think of this? Im sure somebody is wondering. I know my oldest son with move 'with' me. He actually just moved back from there because, 'he missed his mom'. The other 3 kids......I have no idea. My two girls are and have been pretty independent. My youngest son will live near his mom. Who knows, maybe they will all move down there. I tease them often that I will call them, dont call me.
Anything else?
On to what Eric wanted me to talk about.
What Im feeling and thinking.
That is so Eric. He is always wanting to know whats on my mind. How I feel. What Im thinking about. Im still adjusting to that. Its usually me that asks those questions. I know deep down hes what I want. I need time. He knows this and understands. Hes an amazing man. He doesnt need a patience button......lucky sod! (got that saying from an English friend)
I was thinking, while doing dishes, that I want to write out my obituary before I die. Why leave that to my kids, or god forbid, grand kids to try and figure out? I have written obituaries for my Sister and Nephew. My Gram is next. Its hard. I dont know half the information they want. What did they accomplish in their lives before I was born? Who was their god parents? When is their birthday??? So you try and get the facts straight. You think you have it nailed. Then, at the visitation service, some random person comes up to you and says you forgot to mention them in the obituary. What do you say? Sorry!? Im going to work on it. Im only 40, but who the hell knows what tomorrow brings.
Im sitting here thinking more about this. Maybe I will pick out my music too. I dont want funeral music. Its no fun. I like to think Im a fun person. I make people laugh, therefore I am a fun person. Yeah. I think I want some Aerosmith and Train. Maybe a little LIVE too. Stuff I like. Im sure somebody will appreciate my choice of music. After all, a funeral is a celebration of Life!
My Gram is dying. 99 years of LIFE! Thats fucking amazing!
heh, Just when the house got quiet and my 'bubble' is back to its normal shape, everyone will be back here, soon.
Its supposed to be 80 this weekend. I may actually thaw out. 80 to 85 is my kinda weather. Im going to be home alone this weekend. First time in 2 months. I am going to take advantage of my brothers jacuzzi. Im going to take advantage of the silence. Im going to take advantage of my hot ass shower! This will be the calm before the storm. I feel it.
I have more, but I need to go get this knot in my lower back taken care of. My PT, Julie, is gonna HOOK ME UP!
Peace Out......
Where do I live. Hm.
I live in the land of corn fields. Along with the corn fields there are also soybean fields. One year its corn, the next its soybeans. A few times a year they spray those fields with either pig or cow shit. Depends on the field and what time of year it is. Oh yes, it smells lovely. If youve never smelled 'that smell', I suggest a nice long drive in the country. When you come upon a farm, take a big whiff. You will get a HINT of the smell. Oh, and Im fortunate enough to live on the edge of town. The nearest corn field is about 4 blocks away. Yay!
Its pretty damn flat here. Ask Eric. He has a lot to say about the flatness of IL. There are trees, but not TREES. My neighborhood is newer. Maybe 10 years old or so and our trees are still somewhat little. We have bunnies, but no squirrels. No trees = no squirrels. They live in trees, ya know. (off the subject of Northern IL to talk about these squirrels........I had a long debate with an old co-worker about squirrels and where they lived. I won. I had to bring in proof they lived in trees.)
We have tornado warnings here in the summer. I have yet to actually see a tornado. Im one of those who stands on the front porch waiting for it to come ripping through my neighborhood. (edge of town, first to get hit....get it?) Im still waiting.
It snows here too. Kids had 5 snow days. Thats a lot for them. I know I mentioned that in a recent blog. I hate snow....I hate winter. I HATE being cold.
Im getting bored with talking about where I live, but theres more.....
I was born and raised here. I lived here for 18 years before my family moved to AZ. I thought it was bad here, jeeeez, move to Kingman, AZ. Thats a whole other blog.
I dont like where I live. I have about 2 years left here then I can move. Joint custody. Ex is an asshole. Its not worth fighting over. I pushed my patience button with him a long time ago. I hope, no, I AM, moving to North Carolina when I do move. Its an ocean, trees, family, friends, lifestyle, NASCAR thing. I have been there a few times and Im in love with that state. Im not sure where Im moving to, I just know I will be there. I hope to get a house and that house will have roots. I want to stay where I move. I havent had roots since I was 18.
What do my kids think of this? Im sure somebody is wondering. I know my oldest son with move 'with' me. He actually just moved back from there because, 'he missed his mom'. The other 3 kids......I have no idea. My two girls are and have been pretty independent. My youngest son will live near his mom. Who knows, maybe they will all move down there. I tease them often that I will call them, dont call me.
Anything else?
On to what Eric wanted me to talk about.
What Im feeling and thinking.
That is so Eric. He is always wanting to know whats on my mind. How I feel. What Im thinking about. Im still adjusting to that. Its usually me that asks those questions. I know deep down hes what I want. I need time. He knows this and understands. Hes an amazing man. He doesnt need a patience button......lucky sod! (got that saying from an English friend)
I was thinking, while doing dishes, that I want to write out my obituary before I die. Why leave that to my kids, or god forbid, grand kids to try and figure out? I have written obituaries for my Sister and Nephew. My Gram is next. Its hard. I dont know half the information they want. What did they accomplish in their lives before I was born? Who was their god parents? When is their birthday??? So you try and get the facts straight. You think you have it nailed. Then, at the visitation service, some random person comes up to you and says you forgot to mention them in the obituary. What do you say? Sorry!? Im going to work on it. Im only 40, but who the hell knows what tomorrow brings.
Im sitting here thinking more about this. Maybe I will pick out my music too. I dont want funeral music. Its no fun. I like to think Im a fun person. I make people laugh, therefore I am a fun person. Yeah. I think I want some Aerosmith and Train. Maybe a little LIVE too. Stuff I like. Im sure somebody will appreciate my choice of music. After all, a funeral is a celebration of Life!
My Gram is dying. 99 years of LIFE! Thats fucking amazing!
heh, Just when the house got quiet and my 'bubble' is back to its normal shape, everyone will be back here, soon.
Its supposed to be 80 this weekend. I may actually thaw out. 80 to 85 is my kinda weather. Im going to be home alone this weekend. First time in 2 months. I am going to take advantage of my brothers jacuzzi. Im going to take advantage of the silence. Im going to take advantage of my hot ass shower! This will be the calm before the storm. I feel it.
I have more, but I need to go get this knot in my lower back taken care of. My PT, Julie, is gonna HOOK ME UP!
Peace Out......
Wednesday, May 21, 2008
5-21-08
Whats new with me? Hmm.....
Nothing.
Well, there are things, but who really cares? More crap about my Gram. Crap about my back.
Im getting tired of talking about the same stuff. I need a subject. Anybody want to know anything? Got a subject for me??
Eric, you dont count.
Peace Out....
Nothing.
Well, there are things, but who really cares? More crap about my Gram. Crap about my back.
Im getting tired of talking about the same stuff. I need a subject. Anybody want to know anything? Got a subject for me??
Eric, you dont count.
Peace Out....
Tuesday, May 20, 2008
5-20-08
So, I went to the doctor yesterday and somebody fucked up. I waited a month and a half for this appointment and whoever read my CT scan in March, didnt write down what they saw. SO, now somebody else has to read it all over again, take notes and then I have to go back and try again. It sucks because I have to wait another week, BUT, I dont have to go back to work yet.
I went into work after this 'appointment' to let them know what was going on. My boss, the jerk that he is, put me on the schedule for next week. Can he do that without me being cleared? I didnt think so. Maybe that glass ball on his desk does do something other than hold his paperwork down. Jerk.
Oh, also at this appointment, the doctor did do a few things to me to check for pain, where it was, etc. It appears the pain has shifted from my left side to my right. Yeah, I found this out when he raised my right leg and I about knocked him out. It hurt. Just a tad. So far, the only good news is that the pain is all in my back. If you call that good news. I think its good. I will wait for the call to the next appointment.
Nothing really to get off my chest. This blog may be a waste of my time and yours. Im sorry if youre reading this and youre bored stiff. Dont read it. Simple.
My Gram went home from the hospital yesterday. Im hesitant to go see her. She probably wont know who I am. She will yell at me to get her out of this 'hell hole'. Its just not my Gram. Its hard to go see her like this. I give her a week before the nursing home wants to put her back in the hospital. Its a vicious cycle.
School is almost out. My kids have to make up a week of school due to snow days. That hasnt happened in YEARS! Im talking like 20. Probably when I was in school. Its not uncommon for 1 make up day, but 5? Makes for a short summer.
Ok, now Im even bored, but I wont delete it. I havent deleted for a while. Im proud of me.
Peace Out.....
I went into work after this 'appointment' to let them know what was going on. My boss, the jerk that he is, put me on the schedule for next week. Can he do that without me being cleared? I didnt think so. Maybe that glass ball on his desk does do something other than hold his paperwork down. Jerk.
Oh, also at this appointment, the doctor did do a few things to me to check for pain, where it was, etc. It appears the pain has shifted from my left side to my right. Yeah, I found this out when he raised my right leg and I about knocked him out. It hurt. Just a tad. So far, the only good news is that the pain is all in my back. If you call that good news. I think its good. I will wait for the call to the next appointment.
Nothing really to get off my chest. This blog may be a waste of my time and yours. Im sorry if youre reading this and youre bored stiff. Dont read it. Simple.
My Gram went home from the hospital yesterday. Im hesitant to go see her. She probably wont know who I am. She will yell at me to get her out of this 'hell hole'. Its just not my Gram. Its hard to go see her like this. I give her a week before the nursing home wants to put her back in the hospital. Its a vicious cycle.
School is almost out. My kids have to make up a week of school due to snow days. That hasnt happened in YEARS! Im talking like 20. Probably when I was in school. Its not uncommon for 1 make up day, but 5? Makes for a short summer.
Ok, now Im even bored, but I wont delete it. I havent deleted for a while. Im proud of me.
Peace Out.....
Monday, May 19, 2008
5-19-08
Its 648am. The sun is shining. The birds are chirping. The kids are getting ready for school. And today, I find out when I go back to work.
I knew this day was coming. I was just hoping it would come in like, September.
Things eventually go back to normal in life. Guess its my time. My two months off have been busy, to say the least. It has been a good time for me to be off. I met Eric. I spent time with my kids. I had company from NC. I was able to take care of my Gram. I met some new friends on the Internet. Best yet, while doing all this, I got paid!!
Im not sure what they are going to say about my back today. Not much. Probably some kind of game plan to help manage the pain. And yes, Im still in pain. It sucks.
School is almost out and when I do go back to work, Im putting in for my summer vacation. Why not, right? My plan is to go to NC again. I love the beach and I miss the beach. Swing down to GA and visit a few people. The race is in July here and I was blessed with 2 all access pit passes. Yeah, Im excited about that. My goal there, meet Dale Jr. and maybe get a photo. It would be my last photo because I would probably die after that. I love him. I hope to, at some point, get out to PA as well. If its only for a long weekend, I think it would be good to spend time with Eric. I know he wants me out there to meet people.
Before I know it, it will be September again. Kids back to school. Work getting busy again. Winter! I hate winter.
I think Im going to try and stop all that from coming so quickly. Take one day at a time and not worry about whats coming up. Put the brakes on life. Think it will work?
Crap, I need to go back to work. Wake up is 230am. Work from 4 to 1230. Relax for a few hours before the kids come home. Dinner. Bed at 7pm. Ahhh, the memories of being tired all the time are quickly coming back.
I hope all of you have a great day.
Peace Out...
I knew this day was coming. I was just hoping it would come in like, September.
Things eventually go back to normal in life. Guess its my time. My two months off have been busy, to say the least. It has been a good time for me to be off. I met Eric. I spent time with my kids. I had company from NC. I was able to take care of my Gram. I met some new friends on the Internet. Best yet, while doing all this, I got paid!!
Im not sure what they are going to say about my back today. Not much. Probably some kind of game plan to help manage the pain. And yes, Im still in pain. It sucks.
School is almost out and when I do go back to work, Im putting in for my summer vacation. Why not, right? My plan is to go to NC again. I love the beach and I miss the beach. Swing down to GA and visit a few people. The race is in July here and I was blessed with 2 all access pit passes. Yeah, Im excited about that. My goal there, meet Dale Jr. and maybe get a photo. It would be my last photo because I would probably die after that. I love him. I hope to, at some point, get out to PA as well. If its only for a long weekend, I think it would be good to spend time with Eric. I know he wants me out there to meet people.
Before I know it, it will be September again. Kids back to school. Work getting busy again. Winter! I hate winter.
I think Im going to try and stop all that from coming so quickly. Take one day at a time and not worry about whats coming up. Put the brakes on life. Think it will work?
Crap, I need to go back to work. Wake up is 230am. Work from 4 to 1230. Relax for a few hours before the kids come home. Dinner. Bed at 7pm. Ahhh, the memories of being tired all the time are quickly coming back.
I hope all of you have a great day.
Peace Out...
Saturday, May 17, 2008
5-17-08
Wow, typing that date reminded me its my Dads birthday. My Dad died 20 years ago so there is no need for a card or gift. This will make me think of him today and how much I miss him. He only got to see my first born. Travis was 6 months old when he died. That was a bad day for everyone. Besides my Mom, I probably took it the worst. He was, my Dad.
Now its my Grandma. Shes still kicking. She is ready to go, but her heart still beats. Deep down, I hope I dont live until Im 99. I have seen everything she is going through, and I dont want to put my kids through that. Its hard and it sucks!
I need lighten this a little bit.
My company is all gone. I sat for about 12 hours yesterday and did NOTHING! It was great.
I didnt wish anyone to leave, but it was time. After being alone for the past 8 years, its hard to live with so many people in my house. Things were moved around. Messes were made. The washing machine didnt stop. It was hectic......but wonderful!
Every night, Eric and I would retreat to my bedroom. The door was closed, my cat was on my feet, and it was quiet. It was wonderful. Wonderful until I woke up at 3am and had no blankets. Eric is a blanket stealer! We, no I, fixed that problem the next night. I cant go without my blankies.
I can go on and on about the happenings while they were here, but Im not going to. Its memories that I will share at some point. Eric may say some stuff in his blog, I dont know. We had fun, laughed a lot, made a YouTube video (ask Eric for the link), talked, laughed some more, shared the stars, and enjoyed each others company. OH, and a lot of photos.
Eric met both of my closest girlfriends. Not really girlfriends, but more like sisters. My girls loved him. Eric also met my 2 brothers. Im not sure if they loved him, thats weird, but they liked him as well. Everything just seemed to click. He met my Gram, my neighbors, and a few others. I didnt keep him locked in my house, if thats what youre thinking.
What more can I ask for?
I can be honest and say that things arent perfect. Nothing is perfect. Eric and I have both been alone for a long time. I dont want whoever is reading this to freak out and call, write, text, email, or IM me. Everything is fine. I didnt hurt him, nor did he hurt me. We need to get used to sharing the same space with each other. That will take a little time. What did you expect? Things WOULD be perfect???
Its quiet here again. I like it quiet, but I miss the commotion. I miss Eric. I miss my brother and everything he brings to my life. I miss Lynette. Is there a happy medium?
I need to go to the store. NIU graduation is today. That means, A LOT OF TRAFFIC. Im sure that because of the shooting in February, the security will be amped up. Maybe I can make it to the grocery store nearby to get what I need. Hmmm....
All for now.
Peace Out.....
happy birthday, dad! i love you!
Now its my Grandma. Shes still kicking. She is ready to go, but her heart still beats. Deep down, I hope I dont live until Im 99. I have seen everything she is going through, and I dont want to put my kids through that. Its hard and it sucks!
I need lighten this a little bit.
My company is all gone. I sat for about 12 hours yesterday and did NOTHING! It was great.
I didnt wish anyone to leave, but it was time. After being alone for the past 8 years, its hard to live with so many people in my house. Things were moved around. Messes were made. The washing machine didnt stop. It was hectic......but wonderful!
Every night, Eric and I would retreat to my bedroom. The door was closed, my cat was on my feet, and it was quiet. It was wonderful. Wonderful until I woke up at 3am and had no blankets. Eric is a blanket stealer! We, no I, fixed that problem the next night. I cant go without my blankies.
I can go on and on about the happenings while they were here, but Im not going to. Its memories that I will share at some point. Eric may say some stuff in his blog, I dont know. We had fun, laughed a lot, made a YouTube video (ask Eric for the link), talked, laughed some more, shared the stars, and enjoyed each others company. OH, and a lot of photos.
Eric met both of my closest girlfriends. Not really girlfriends, but more like sisters. My girls loved him. Eric also met my 2 brothers. Im not sure if they loved him, thats weird, but they liked him as well. Everything just seemed to click. He met my Gram, my neighbors, and a few others. I didnt keep him locked in my house, if thats what youre thinking.
What more can I ask for?
I can be honest and say that things arent perfect. Nothing is perfect. Eric and I have both been alone for a long time. I dont want whoever is reading this to freak out and call, write, text, email, or IM me. Everything is fine. I didnt hurt him, nor did he hurt me. We need to get used to sharing the same space with each other. That will take a little time. What did you expect? Things WOULD be perfect???
Its quiet here again. I like it quiet, but I miss the commotion. I miss Eric. I miss my brother and everything he brings to my life. I miss Lynette. Is there a happy medium?
I need to go to the store. NIU graduation is today. That means, A LOT OF TRAFFIC. Im sure that because of the shooting in February, the security will be amped up. Maybe I can make it to the grocery store nearby to get what I need. Hmmm....
All for now.
Peace Out.....
happy birthday, dad! i love you!
Sunday, May 11, 2008
5-11-08
So much for writing everyday. How about if I do that when I dont have any company in the house. Yeah.....Thats a good idea.
Happy Mothers Day. What is Mothers Day? Im a single mom. I still have to cook, clean and do 2 loads of laundry. Im a proud mom and Im not complaining. To me, everyday is Mothers Day.
I have friends and family here. I have enough steak in my fridge to feed a small army. Its raining outside. Crap. My son came to my room last night with 3 Tulips he had scoped out and stolen for me. Eric got me a card. My daughter called me. I suppose, today will be just like every other day. Its Sunday. Just another day, but today is Mothers Day.
Yesterday was a beautiful day. It was supposed to be cold and crappy.....it turned out to be sunny and beautiful. I took Eric around town with my son. There isnt much to see here. Ask Eric. It was a short day.
My brother was able to get us some steaks for dinner tonight. We got a good laugh out of that. Im not going into details. Lets just say, we all got a good laugh. Yeah, we laughed.
My son and his girlfriend decided to sleep outside in the tent last night. The low was in the 40s and it rained all night long. I guess she was a little pissed this morning at 630 when she came in. Maybe, just MAYBE, she learned something last night. I doubt it.
All for now. I need to shower and clean up a bit before my company gets here.
Happy Mothers Day to all you moms out there. I hope you dont have to make dinner, clean up or do any laundry. If you do, its ok. Kids are worth it!
Peace Out....
Happy Mothers Day. What is Mothers Day? Im a single mom. I still have to cook, clean and do 2 loads of laundry. Im a proud mom and Im not complaining. To me, everyday is Mothers Day.
I have friends and family here. I have enough steak in my fridge to feed a small army. Its raining outside. Crap. My son came to my room last night with 3 Tulips he had scoped out and stolen for me. Eric got me a card. My daughter called me. I suppose, today will be just like every other day. Its Sunday. Just another day, but today is Mothers Day.
Yesterday was a beautiful day. It was supposed to be cold and crappy.....it turned out to be sunny and beautiful. I took Eric around town with my son. There isnt much to see here. Ask Eric. It was a short day.
My brother was able to get us some steaks for dinner tonight. We got a good laugh out of that. Im not going into details. Lets just say, we all got a good laugh. Yeah, we laughed.
My son and his girlfriend decided to sleep outside in the tent last night. The low was in the 40s and it rained all night long. I guess she was a little pissed this morning at 630 when she came in. Maybe, just MAYBE, she learned something last night. I doubt it.
All for now. I need to shower and clean up a bit before my company gets here.
Happy Mothers Day to all you moms out there. I hope you dont have to make dinner, clean up or do any laundry. If you do, its ok. Kids are worth it!
Peace Out....
Friday, May 9, 2008
5-9-08
Some things I will keep *shush* on here! Like a certain phone call at 11pm. Enough said.
Im behind. Ive had a hectic couple of days around here. My personal goal was to write something on here everyday. So I failed. Doesnt mean I cant start up again. I will try but life does get hectic.
Ok.....So, my darling Eric is back. Yay! He got here yesterday about 30 minutes before my PT appointment. Needless to say, it was very difficult leaving him! I got to PT and said, 'Lets GO'. I was out of there in 45 minutes with the promise I would go on a long walk in lieu of riding the damn bike for 15 minutes. I kept my promise. Eric, Kadie (the dog) and I went on a nice long moonlit walk. *sigh*
Im so happy hes back. I have missed him so very much. The void that was once there is now filled. Im so lucky to have such a wonderful man in my life. Im not letting him go...ever.
My girlfriend, Lynette, and my brother, Mark, also arrived 2 days ago. I think I mentioned this once before. Long...Long....Long story. Im not going there. At least, not yet. They brought along with them the new puppy, Widow, and their paralyzed dog, Moose. Moose got hit by a car not too long ago, and she couldnt put him down. Hes still 'Moose'. Please dont send me messages about animal cruelty...I know. I havent seen them in a few months, so to have them back in the house is wonderful. Squishy, but wonderful. Im very thankful that Eric and Mark are getting along. I was a little worried, but its all good.
So, I have a house full of people, animals, kids, boyfriends, girlfriends and chaos. I love it though. Everybody has a place to sleep. There seems to be food in the fridge to feed everyone. Everybody seems happy. So far, so good. I have 3 or 4 days to go. Eric, however, isnt leaving. I get to keep him for a few more days. This time will be good for us but it will also make him leaving that much more difficult.
The reason for all this company is because my Gram isnt doing all that great. Shes very confused and for me, its frustrating. She called my brother Mark, Neal yesterday. That about tore his heart out. Neal is our older brother. Not that there is anything wrong with Neal, its just that Mark hasnt seen Gram in a few months and he was hoping that she knew it was him. It was very hard for him. I dont blame him. Then he and Lynette took the trip to the cemetery to see our parents and our nephew that recently died. Another day for that as well.
This is getting depressing.
Im happy. I cant remember the last time I was this happy. Eric has brought out a part of me that I have never seen. He has made me feel things that I never thought were possible. Hes truly amazing and I am so blessed. I call him my Angel. He knows why....
I know I have more to say, I just dont know what.
Im looking at Eric as I type. His eyes, are happy. Mine, have tears welling.......Happy tears.
Eric, I love you
Peace Out...
Im behind. Ive had a hectic couple of days around here. My personal goal was to write something on here everyday. So I failed. Doesnt mean I cant start up again. I will try but life does get hectic.
Ok.....So, my darling Eric is back. Yay! He got here yesterday about 30 minutes before my PT appointment. Needless to say, it was very difficult leaving him! I got to PT and said, 'Lets GO'. I was out of there in 45 minutes with the promise I would go on a long walk in lieu of riding the damn bike for 15 minutes. I kept my promise. Eric, Kadie (the dog) and I went on a nice long moonlit walk. *sigh*
Im so happy hes back. I have missed him so very much. The void that was once there is now filled. Im so lucky to have such a wonderful man in my life. Im not letting him go...ever.
My girlfriend, Lynette, and my brother, Mark, also arrived 2 days ago. I think I mentioned this once before. Long...Long....Long story. Im not going there. At least, not yet. They brought along with them the new puppy, Widow, and their paralyzed dog, Moose. Moose got hit by a car not too long ago, and she couldnt put him down. Hes still 'Moose'. Please dont send me messages about animal cruelty...I know. I havent seen them in a few months, so to have them back in the house is wonderful. Squishy, but wonderful. Im very thankful that Eric and Mark are getting along. I was a little worried, but its all good.
So, I have a house full of people, animals, kids, boyfriends, girlfriends and chaos. I love it though. Everybody has a place to sleep. There seems to be food in the fridge to feed everyone. Everybody seems happy. So far, so good. I have 3 or 4 days to go. Eric, however, isnt leaving. I get to keep him for a few more days. This time will be good for us but it will also make him leaving that much more difficult.
The reason for all this company is because my Gram isnt doing all that great. Shes very confused and for me, its frustrating. She called my brother Mark, Neal yesterday. That about tore his heart out. Neal is our older brother. Not that there is anything wrong with Neal, its just that Mark hasnt seen Gram in a few months and he was hoping that she knew it was him. It was very hard for him. I dont blame him. Then he and Lynette took the trip to the cemetery to see our parents and our nephew that recently died. Another day for that as well.
This is getting depressing.
Im happy. I cant remember the last time I was this happy. Eric has brought out a part of me that I have never seen. He has made me feel things that I never thought were possible. Hes truly amazing and I am so blessed. I call him my Angel. He knows why....
I know I have more to say, I just dont know what.
Im looking at Eric as I type. His eyes, are happy. Mine, have tears welling.......Happy tears.
Eric, I love you
Peace Out...
Tuesday, May 6, 2008
5-6-08
I didnt post yesterday and its only 741am today. Im a day late and a few hours short. Oh well. Story of my life.
I didnt want to come inside yesterday. It was the nicest day here. Everyone was outside. I saw neighbors I hadnt seen since the fall. It was awesome. I fired up the grill and made some exploding brats, bacon cheeseburgers and a few hot dogs. I always make way more than enough. This is one leftover I dont mind reheating.
My kids were running with the dog......playing some frisbee. My youngest was on the front porch with her computer. Im so damn happy spring has finally sprung. Living in Northern Illinois can suck. No, it does suck. We had the longest damn winter in history. It was snowing here on April 28th. I took video. I had to. We had the most snowfall this year since like 1978 or something. So to be outside and not want to come in, makes sense to me. Can anybody relate??
So, what to say? Its early and I want to go back to bed, to be honest with you.
Eric has directed, probably everyone reading this, to come check me out. Find out more about the love of his life.
Hi!
You can read all about my problems and issues in life. Im not sure if thats good reading or not. Im pretty normal except, I like to steal things from restaurants. Eric didnt know this until we were walking out of the Pub and I showed him the pepper shaker. He was mortified!!! He could NOT believe I took the pepper shaker. Its just a pepper shaker. To be fair, I should have taken its mate....but it just had no meaning to me. Im sure next time we go out for dinner, hes going to make sure Im 'clean' before we leave. lol....
Im not sure what to say. I kind of feel like Im in the spotlight. Friends of Erics reading about some random woman he met on the internet. Weird. I will confess that, never in a million years would I have ever thought about posting a blog. Eric let me read his and a few days later I just started typing. Now, for what ever reason, this isnt so bad. Strange people all over the world reading about my life. MY LIFE.
I will never have a 'topic'. Just a date. I will always type whats on my mind. Sorry if its boring. Its MY blog and MY life. If you dont find it as interesting as I do, well, sorry. I think this is just another way of getting whats floating around in my head, out. My days events. Random thoughts. Venting about something trivial. Isnt that what a blog is? Im also doing a very good job of not erasing what I typed. Im real good at typing a bunch of stuff only to erase it because it sounds 'stupid'. Given the opportunity, I would erase most of this blog.
Its 803am. The sun is shining and its beautiful outside. My dog is looking at me waiting for me to toss the next toy. Lets see....we are on toy number 3. Shes almost like a toddler. Well, I guess in dog years, she is! Shes not quite a year old and shes the cutest damn thing I have ever seen. Shes my angel muffin, or Kadie Maddison as she was named. I give her about 1/2 hour before she heads upstairs to sleep the day away.
Not much else is going on here. I have to go see my Gram today. She got the OK to have a glass of wine everyday. When I told her that, she lit up like a Christmas tree. I also have PT. Oh joy.
I have company coming. Or at least I think I do. I will find that out for sure today as well. My brother, best friend, puppy, paralyzed dog and Eric. *SMILE*
Toy number 4.......
All for today. If any of you reading this would like to contact me, please do. I have already made friends with a few of you on Facebook. Im not sure Im into responding to comments. Its a comment, not a conversation. If you would like to contact me, and dont know how, just ask Eric. Hes got all my info. As for me contacting you, if I cant figure that out, I will just ask Eric. lol
Peace Out.....
I didnt want to come inside yesterday. It was the nicest day here. Everyone was outside. I saw neighbors I hadnt seen since the fall. It was awesome. I fired up the grill and made some exploding brats, bacon cheeseburgers and a few hot dogs. I always make way more than enough. This is one leftover I dont mind reheating.
My kids were running with the dog......playing some frisbee. My youngest was on the front porch with her computer. Im so damn happy spring has finally sprung. Living in Northern Illinois can suck. No, it does suck. We had the longest damn winter in history. It was snowing here on April 28th. I took video. I had to. We had the most snowfall this year since like 1978 or something. So to be outside and not want to come in, makes sense to me. Can anybody relate??
So, what to say? Its early and I want to go back to bed, to be honest with you.
Eric has directed, probably everyone reading this, to come check me out. Find out more about the love of his life.
Hi!
You can read all about my problems and issues in life. Im not sure if thats good reading or not. Im pretty normal except, I like to steal things from restaurants. Eric didnt know this until we were walking out of the Pub and I showed him the pepper shaker. He was mortified!!! He could NOT believe I took the pepper shaker. Its just a pepper shaker. To be fair, I should have taken its mate....but it just had no meaning to me. Im sure next time we go out for dinner, hes going to make sure Im 'clean' before we leave. lol....
Im not sure what to say. I kind of feel like Im in the spotlight. Friends of Erics reading about some random woman he met on the internet. Weird. I will confess that, never in a million years would I have ever thought about posting a blog. Eric let me read his and a few days later I just started typing. Now, for what ever reason, this isnt so bad. Strange people all over the world reading about my life. MY LIFE.
I will never have a 'topic'. Just a date. I will always type whats on my mind. Sorry if its boring. Its MY blog and MY life. If you dont find it as interesting as I do, well, sorry. I think this is just another way of getting whats floating around in my head, out. My days events. Random thoughts. Venting about something trivial. Isnt that what a blog is? Im also doing a very good job of not erasing what I typed. Im real good at typing a bunch of stuff only to erase it because it sounds 'stupid'. Given the opportunity, I would erase most of this blog.
Its 803am. The sun is shining and its beautiful outside. My dog is looking at me waiting for me to toss the next toy. Lets see....we are on toy number 3. Shes almost like a toddler. Well, I guess in dog years, she is! Shes not quite a year old and shes the cutest damn thing I have ever seen. Shes my angel muffin, or Kadie Maddison as she was named. I give her about 1/2 hour before she heads upstairs to sleep the day away.
Not much else is going on here. I have to go see my Gram today. She got the OK to have a glass of wine everyday. When I told her that, she lit up like a Christmas tree. I also have PT. Oh joy.
I have company coming. Or at least I think I do. I will find that out for sure today as well. My brother, best friend, puppy, paralyzed dog and Eric. *SMILE*
Toy number 4.......
All for today. If any of you reading this would like to contact me, please do. I have already made friends with a few of you on Facebook. Im not sure Im into responding to comments. Its a comment, not a conversation. If you would like to contact me, and dont know how, just ask Eric. Hes got all my info. As for me contacting you, if I cant figure that out, I will just ask Eric. lol
Peace Out.....
Sunday, May 4, 2008
5-4-08
An early blog for me today.
It has been an awesome day today. I spent most of it outside, in the sun.
I played some frisbee with my son. My back will be feeling that here before long. Had my dog out running her tail off. She loves running around the backyard. Im so blessed with this dog. She is my angel muffin. I tried to see my Gram today, but she was crashed and I didnt want to wake her. She looked good and is going back the nursing home this afternoon. Im going to visit her tomorrow as I know she will be tired.
I talked to my sister. Her and I dont really have much of a relationship. My 2 best girlfriends are more sisterly to me, than she is. Its sad actually. Nothing really I can do about it. I called her to give the the scoop on Gram. She lives in AZ and I doubt she will come out to see her. Shes not like that.
I spent some time talking to Eric. It seems that everyday, I realize a little more how much he loves me. Hes.....uh.....pretty amazing. Im truly happy. It feels good to be happy. I dont think Im as happy as I could be, but Im getting there.
I talked to one of my girlfriends today. She lives in NC. She was chillin on her front porch with her dogs and my brother. I was chillin on mine with my dog and my son. Her and I are so much alike, but so different. She is my female soul mate. If that makes any sense.
I talked to another one of my girlfriends today. Shes getting ready to move to MN. Im trying to talk her out of it. Why would you want to move there? They get a lot more snow than we do. I expressed this to her, and she understands. Shes still moving. We have been told that if one of us starts on the Atlantic side and the other the Pacific side, we will find each other without any form of communication. We are 2 peas in a pod. Shes one of my best 'work' friends. Somebody I will know and keep in touch with for the rest of my life.
hmm...What else happened today? I dont think anything. Kinda of a boring day, but a good day. I got some fresh air, got a little sun, spent quality time with one of my kids, played with the dog, spoke to a few very important people in my life. It seems today, life is good.
Whats going to happen tomorrow?
Peace Out....
It has been an awesome day today. I spent most of it outside, in the sun.
I played some frisbee with my son. My back will be feeling that here before long. Had my dog out running her tail off. She loves running around the backyard. Im so blessed with this dog. She is my angel muffin. I tried to see my Gram today, but she was crashed and I didnt want to wake her. She looked good and is going back the nursing home this afternoon. Im going to visit her tomorrow as I know she will be tired.
I talked to my sister. Her and I dont really have much of a relationship. My 2 best girlfriends are more sisterly to me, than she is. Its sad actually. Nothing really I can do about it. I called her to give the the scoop on Gram. She lives in AZ and I doubt she will come out to see her. Shes not like that.
I spent some time talking to Eric. It seems that everyday, I realize a little more how much he loves me. Hes.....uh.....pretty amazing. Im truly happy. It feels good to be happy. I dont think Im as happy as I could be, but Im getting there.
I talked to one of my girlfriends today. She lives in NC. She was chillin on her front porch with her dogs and my brother. I was chillin on mine with my dog and my son. Her and I are so much alike, but so different. She is my female soul mate. If that makes any sense.
I talked to another one of my girlfriends today. Shes getting ready to move to MN. Im trying to talk her out of it. Why would you want to move there? They get a lot more snow than we do. I expressed this to her, and she understands. Shes still moving. We have been told that if one of us starts on the Atlantic side and the other the Pacific side, we will find each other without any form of communication. We are 2 peas in a pod. Shes one of my best 'work' friends. Somebody I will know and keep in touch with for the rest of my life.
hmm...What else happened today? I dont think anything. Kinda of a boring day, but a good day. I got some fresh air, got a little sun, spent quality time with one of my kids, played with the dog, spoke to a few very important people in my life. It seems today, life is good.
Whats going to happen tomorrow?
Peace Out....
5-4-08
I tried so hard to get this blog in before midnight last night, but it just didnt work. I was talking to my Eric, my girlfriend Kathy, playing 3 games of Scrabble, and chatting with a friend from Australia that I met on FB.
Here is the update on my Gram. She looked great! Its amazing what some blood can do to a body. I think shes going home tomorrow/today. Not quite sure. But shes much better. Her heart is failing. Its 99 years old. Thats OLD! Shes tired and I think ready to leave this place and move on to bigger and better places. I know her first stop will be the casinos in Laughlin, NV. Nobody knows how much time she has with us. God will take her when hes ready. Im going to be a little selfish and hope its not for a few months. Is that asking too much?
So its 334am here. Kids are all asleep. My animals are surrounding me. Eric went to bed a few hours ago. I wish he were online because Im not tired. There is a party going on outside somewhere. My dog will raise her head and put out this small growl. Like shes going to save us or something. Its quite amusing. Its cold. Im waiting for 80 degrees and Im starting to wonder if it will ever get here.
I love NASCAR. It isnt about turning left, people. Its getting your car adjusted during the race to make it the best it can be. Starting from the back and making your way to the front with good pit stops and strategy. Most people just dont get it and I have given up trying to explain it. Either you like it or you dont. I love it!
So there was a race on tonight. Saturday night race at Richmond, VA. A short track. If Im not mistaken, its a 3/4 mile long track. I could get technical and look this up, but its 340am and Im a little lazy. You can go to NASCAR.com to get the information if you really want. Anyway, Eric was on the phone with me while it was ending. I have warned him that I get a little excited when there is a good race on. Well, he found out tonight how I get. Poor man. I actually felt bad for him. I was saying words I dont normally say because I was so pissed off. Stupid Kyle Busch hit my Dale Jr, spun him out of 2nd place, thus throwing a caution. Dale ended up 15th but is still 3rd in points. He was a little pissed himself. He should have won the race. *sigh* There is always next week.
Eric, Im sorry you had to hear me swear the way I did. I did warn you, honey.
My brother, best friend, puppy and paralyzed dog may be coming for a visit soon. To see Gram, of course. They also want to meet Eric. *sigh* I stress just thinking about it.
I live in a town home. 3 bedroom, 1 1/2 bath. There will be, if this happens, 3 dogs, 2 cats, 4 adults, 3 to 7 kids between the ages of 15 and 20....and a partridge in a pear tree, in my house. Maybe this is why Im awake at 349am.
It comforts me to know that I would be in my own room, with the door closed, with Eric holding me until I fall asleep. Unless, of course, my brother scares the shit out of him and he hikes it back to PA. Hes a brave man if really does take place. Personally, I would be scared.
Eric is an amazing man. I keep asking myself, him, my girlfriends, God....why and how I deserve such an amazing man. I have gotten quite a few different answers. The most popular answer is, 'because you DO deserve him'. I know I do.....the the 'me' in me thats having a problem with it.
I have been through a lot in my life. An ex husband who.......lets not talk about him today. Lets just say, hes an ass. A few boyfriends that started out as potentials, but ended up being duds. Besides the so called men in my life, I have lost both my parents, have raised my 4 kids by myself during the hardest time in their lives.....those pre-teenage years, trying to keep sane, working full time, managing my house......I could go on and on.
Eric
I wasnt going to mention him tonight, but I cant stop thinking about him. Hes amazing. I have known him for 3 weeks or so, and it feels like a lifetime. He and I fit together like 2 puzzle pieces. I love him with all my heart. Thank you for finding me, baby.
The party is finally over. Im not sure if the police were involved, but its quiet now. My dog went upstairs to find her blankie and snuggle. Rico, well, hes laying next to me wishing I would just go to bed so he can follow. Bob, hell, who knows where Bob is.
410am. Im going to bed.
One more little thing....Eric finally won a game of Scrabble against Kathy and I. He got a word worth 106 points. I am so proud of him.
Hey, theres Bob....hehe
Peace Out....
Here is the update on my Gram. She looked great! Its amazing what some blood can do to a body. I think shes going home tomorrow/today. Not quite sure. But shes much better. Her heart is failing. Its 99 years old. Thats OLD! Shes tired and I think ready to leave this place and move on to bigger and better places. I know her first stop will be the casinos in Laughlin, NV. Nobody knows how much time she has with us. God will take her when hes ready. Im going to be a little selfish and hope its not for a few months. Is that asking too much?
So its 334am here. Kids are all asleep. My animals are surrounding me. Eric went to bed a few hours ago. I wish he were online because Im not tired. There is a party going on outside somewhere. My dog will raise her head and put out this small growl. Like shes going to save us or something. Its quite amusing. Its cold. Im waiting for 80 degrees and Im starting to wonder if it will ever get here.
I love NASCAR. It isnt about turning left, people. Its getting your car adjusted during the race to make it the best it can be. Starting from the back and making your way to the front with good pit stops and strategy. Most people just dont get it and I have given up trying to explain it. Either you like it or you dont. I love it!
So there was a race on tonight. Saturday night race at Richmond, VA. A short track. If Im not mistaken, its a 3/4 mile long track. I could get technical and look this up, but its 340am and Im a little lazy. You can go to NASCAR.com to get the information if you really want. Anyway, Eric was on the phone with me while it was ending. I have warned him that I get a little excited when there is a good race on. Well, he found out tonight how I get. Poor man. I actually felt bad for him. I was saying words I dont normally say because I was so pissed off. Stupid Kyle Busch hit my Dale Jr, spun him out of 2nd place, thus throwing a caution. Dale ended up 15th but is still 3rd in points. He was a little pissed himself. He should have won the race. *sigh* There is always next week.
Eric, Im sorry you had to hear me swear the way I did. I did warn you, honey.
My brother, best friend, puppy and paralyzed dog may be coming for a visit soon. To see Gram, of course. They also want to meet Eric. *sigh* I stress just thinking about it.
I live in a town home. 3 bedroom, 1 1/2 bath. There will be, if this happens, 3 dogs, 2 cats, 4 adults, 3 to 7 kids between the ages of 15 and 20....and a partridge in a pear tree, in my house. Maybe this is why Im awake at 349am.
It comforts me to know that I would be in my own room, with the door closed, with Eric holding me until I fall asleep. Unless, of course, my brother scares the shit out of him and he hikes it back to PA. Hes a brave man if really does take place. Personally, I would be scared.
Eric is an amazing man. I keep asking myself, him, my girlfriends, God....why and how I deserve such an amazing man. I have gotten quite a few different answers. The most popular answer is, 'because you DO deserve him'. I know I do.....the the 'me' in me thats having a problem with it.
I have been through a lot in my life. An ex husband who.......lets not talk about him today. Lets just say, hes an ass. A few boyfriends that started out as potentials, but ended up being duds. Besides the so called men in my life, I have lost both my parents, have raised my 4 kids by myself during the hardest time in their lives.....those pre-teenage years, trying to keep sane, working full time, managing my house......I could go on and on.
Eric
I wasnt going to mention him tonight, but I cant stop thinking about him. Hes amazing. I have known him for 3 weeks or so, and it feels like a lifetime. He and I fit together like 2 puzzle pieces. I love him with all my heart. Thank you for finding me, baby.
The party is finally over. Im not sure if the police were involved, but its quiet now. My dog went upstairs to find her blankie and snuggle. Rico, well, hes laying next to me wishing I would just go to bed so he can follow. Bob, hell, who knows where Bob is.
410am. Im going to bed.
One more little thing....Eric finally won a game of Scrabble against Kathy and I. He got a word worth 106 points. I am so proud of him.
Hey, theres Bob....hehe
Peace Out....
Friday, May 2, 2008
5-2-08
Its 10:32pm. Im tired. My dog want to play. My cats are asleep. My kids are all gone. Either to girlfriend or boyfriends houses. I really think my dog just 'woke' up. Jeeeeez. The race is on. Richmond, VA tonight. Good race....but my Dale Jr. isnt racing. Thats tomorrow night. Oh you know I will be watching that. He starts 22nd. Not great, but its a good track for him. No worries.
It was a long day for me. It started out by me getting up at about 6am to make sure my kids get up for school. Why do I do this? Probably because I know if I dont call them or wake them up myself, they wont get up. Typical of my kids. So, its 635am and Im yelling for them to get their asses out of bed. My son opens his door and yells...Mom, we dont have school today. WTF?? Thanks for telling me. This pissed me off because I would have loved nothing more than to sleep in. Just for another hour or so. Oh well. I got online. Why not?
So, Im wide awake. Take the trash out that my son was too lazy to do and let the dog out. Its beautiful outside at 7am. Its supposed to rain, so its humid. But still, beautiful. Quiet, peaceful. I come inside and it starts to rain. It smells so clean. I love that smell. The dog went back to bed, the cats are chillin' on the couch and Im on Facebook. Im addicted, ok. First step is admitting you have an addiction. I can admit to things like this.
If you dont have FB (Facebook), dont get it. You will find you spend too much time on there goofing off. Sending your friends, plants, hugs, monsters, kisses, flowers, rainbows, etc. Not to mention owning people. Yes, you can own people on there. Its like a human auction. Its pretty cool, but addicting as well. I have already admitted to the addiction, so Im good.
Eric pops on and we start playing our game of Scrabble. Yeah, its on FB as well. After kicking his butt...hehe....Love you honey.....I get a phone call from the nursing home. Its my Gram. She is on her way to the E.R.
I jump in the shower, get dressed and fly out the door. I mentioned my Gram is 99 years old, so I hurry whenever something happens to her. Within 30 minutes Im at the hospital. Im not a foo foo girl, so it doesnt take me long to get ready.
I walk in and shes just laying there smiling. I looked at her, took her hand, and asked her....What the hell are you doing here? All she could do was laugh at me. She looked good to me. She has been having problems breathing and hasnt been able to decide what she wants to do. I guess she finally got tired of not being able to breathe and decided it was time to go to the 'dreaded' hospital again.
So shes hooked up to what seems like 100 miles of wires, cords, tubes, etc. But shes still smiling. They take blood. A lot of blood from her. She made the comment that they were going to 'drain her.' I reassured her that they werent going to do that. They take X-rays, take more blood, give her some kind of drippy medicine, catheter (i spell checked that). And now we wait. She fell asleep. I fell asleep. I asked to sleep in the bed next to her, but it was a no go.
The Dr finally comes in. Shes in heart failure. She has fluid in her lungs.....wet lungs is what the Dr said. AND she has lost half of the blood in her body since she was in the hospital a week or so ago. Needless to say, shes a mess. I told her she was like a tossed salad. Got her to laugh.
They gave her meds to get the fluid out of her body. 1000 ml in 2 hours came out of her. Yeah, I thought it was a lot too. I can only imagine how much more has come out since. They were going to fill her back up with blood. Which is always a good thing. Dr said she was going to be there for a few days and then she can go back to the nursing home.
WTF???
Heart failure. Doesnt that mean her heart is failing?? He made it sound like shes going to be up and running around in no time. Mind you, Gram hasnt ran anywhere in about 2 years or so.
As I sat there and watched her sleep, I was texting with Eric. Hes amazing. At a moments notice, he was willing to drive out here (9 hrs) to be with me. Who does that? Eric, I know youre reading this and you want to leave a message, dont. I get it, honey. I get it.
I wondered if 10 years ago she would still be alive at this point. Medicine is amazing. The things they can do, etc. Just amazing.
I wondered who I should call. My brother is in Vegas for work. Who else is there? A few relatives that cant really do anything. Shes not dying that I know of. So I just sat there, watching her. Texting Eric. Dozing.
I left my Gram about 15 minutes before they took her up to her room. She was ready to lay in a bed and sleep. I had spent roughly 5 hours, sitting in a chair, watching my Gram. Not really what I had planned for the day. Sometimes we just have to do things that arent fun. I didnt have fun.
I was a bitch when I came home. So much so, I havent seen my kids since they left about 5 minutes after I got home. Its ok. They didnt sit up there. They got to sleep. They got to be lazy and irresponsible. Its ok.
I will go to the hospital tomorrow morning, while my kids are sleeping, and visit with my Gram. She needs Carmex. She wants Junior Mints. I will bring her both.
My brother is sleeping in Vegas. I took all the worry away from him so he can sleep tonight and work a 16 hour day tomorrow.
*sigh* Heart failure. What does that mean??
Thats it for tonight. These blogs keep getting longer and longer. Dog is asleep. Cats are awake.
Go figure!
I didnt delete or re-read again. All for now....
Peace Out...
It was a long day for me. It started out by me getting up at about 6am to make sure my kids get up for school. Why do I do this? Probably because I know if I dont call them or wake them up myself, they wont get up. Typical of my kids. So, its 635am and Im yelling for them to get their asses out of bed. My son opens his door and yells...Mom, we dont have school today. WTF?? Thanks for telling me. This pissed me off because I would have loved nothing more than to sleep in. Just for another hour or so. Oh well. I got online. Why not?
So, Im wide awake. Take the trash out that my son was too lazy to do and let the dog out. Its beautiful outside at 7am. Its supposed to rain, so its humid. But still, beautiful. Quiet, peaceful. I come inside and it starts to rain. It smells so clean. I love that smell. The dog went back to bed, the cats are chillin' on the couch and Im on Facebook. Im addicted, ok. First step is admitting you have an addiction. I can admit to things like this.
If you dont have FB (Facebook), dont get it. You will find you spend too much time on there goofing off. Sending your friends, plants, hugs, monsters, kisses, flowers, rainbows, etc. Not to mention owning people. Yes, you can own people on there. Its like a human auction. Its pretty cool, but addicting as well. I have already admitted to the addiction, so Im good.
Eric pops on and we start playing our game of Scrabble. Yeah, its on FB as well. After kicking his butt...hehe....Love you honey.....I get a phone call from the nursing home. Its my Gram. She is on her way to the E.R.
I jump in the shower, get dressed and fly out the door. I mentioned my Gram is 99 years old, so I hurry whenever something happens to her. Within 30 minutes Im at the hospital. Im not a foo foo girl, so it doesnt take me long to get ready.
I walk in and shes just laying there smiling. I looked at her, took her hand, and asked her....What the hell are you doing here? All she could do was laugh at me. She looked good to me. She has been having problems breathing and hasnt been able to decide what she wants to do. I guess she finally got tired of not being able to breathe and decided it was time to go to the 'dreaded' hospital again.
So shes hooked up to what seems like 100 miles of wires, cords, tubes, etc. But shes still smiling. They take blood. A lot of blood from her. She made the comment that they were going to 'drain her.' I reassured her that they werent going to do that. They take X-rays, take more blood, give her some kind of drippy medicine, catheter (i spell checked that). And now we wait. She fell asleep. I fell asleep. I asked to sleep in the bed next to her, but it was a no go.
The Dr finally comes in. Shes in heart failure. She has fluid in her lungs.....wet lungs is what the Dr said. AND she has lost half of the blood in her body since she was in the hospital a week or so ago. Needless to say, shes a mess. I told her she was like a tossed salad. Got her to laugh.
They gave her meds to get the fluid out of her body. 1000 ml in 2 hours came out of her. Yeah, I thought it was a lot too. I can only imagine how much more has come out since. They were going to fill her back up with blood. Which is always a good thing. Dr said she was going to be there for a few days and then she can go back to the nursing home.
WTF???
Heart failure. Doesnt that mean her heart is failing?? He made it sound like shes going to be up and running around in no time. Mind you, Gram hasnt ran anywhere in about 2 years or so.
As I sat there and watched her sleep, I was texting with Eric. Hes amazing. At a moments notice, he was willing to drive out here (9 hrs) to be with me. Who does that? Eric, I know youre reading this and you want to leave a message, dont. I get it, honey. I get it.
I wondered if 10 years ago she would still be alive at this point. Medicine is amazing. The things they can do, etc. Just amazing.
I wondered who I should call. My brother is in Vegas for work. Who else is there? A few relatives that cant really do anything. Shes not dying that I know of. So I just sat there, watching her. Texting Eric. Dozing.
I left my Gram about 15 minutes before they took her up to her room. She was ready to lay in a bed and sleep. I had spent roughly 5 hours, sitting in a chair, watching my Gram. Not really what I had planned for the day. Sometimes we just have to do things that arent fun. I didnt have fun.
I was a bitch when I came home. So much so, I havent seen my kids since they left about 5 minutes after I got home. Its ok. They didnt sit up there. They got to sleep. They got to be lazy and irresponsible. Its ok.
I will go to the hospital tomorrow morning, while my kids are sleeping, and visit with my Gram. She needs Carmex. She wants Junior Mints. I will bring her both.
My brother is sleeping in Vegas. I took all the worry away from him so he can sleep tonight and work a 16 hour day tomorrow.
*sigh* Heart failure. What does that mean??
Thats it for tonight. These blogs keep getting longer and longer. Dog is asleep. Cats are awake.
Go figure!
I didnt delete or re-read again. All for now....
Peace Out...
Thursday, May 1, 2008
5-1-08
Happy May Day.
Does anybody even celebrate May Day anymore? I can remember when I was a kid, my mom, brother, sister and I would make paper baskets. My mom would make popcorn while we were coloring or decorating our 'baskets' and we would then fill them up, walk around the neighborhood and hang them from door knobs of random houses. I can understand why people dont do it these days. This world just isnt the same as it was 25 years ago.
Just a memory I thought I would share.
Had a pretty good day today. I have been making plans to take the Amtrak to Pittsburgh to see Eric. Yeah, I havent said much about him, Im afraid of the proverbial jinx. So once I can get my kids to sit down for a few minutes, Im going to talk to them about it. $134 round trip from Chicago to Pittsburgh just seems too good to be true. So inexpensive compared to driving.
Eric. I love him.
I didnt go see my Gram today. I think I needed a break. I know shes fine and I will see her tomorrow and bring her the few things she wanted. Junior Mints, cough drops and a needle and thread. For some reason she thinks shes going to be sewing. Im not sure what you sew in a nursing home.
My best girlfriend got my brother a black lab puppy today. She named him Widow. Mark, my brother, has a thing with Black Widow spiders. So it only makes sense to name the black dog Widow. My brother and her are dating.....way long story. Maybe like a few days worth of blogs, so Im not going to get into it. The dog is HIS. He is a few days worth of blogs as well, but to know him, is to understand him. Not many people understand him. By not many, I mean maybe 2. Me and her. And soon the dog.
My house is quiet right now. Kids are all outside. It in the mid 70s right now and we are expecting a lot of rain. I like rain. It calms me, so it can rain all it wants.
I love Eric...... *sigh*
Ok.....I got nothing more today.
Peace Out.....
Does anybody even celebrate May Day anymore? I can remember when I was a kid, my mom, brother, sister and I would make paper baskets. My mom would make popcorn while we were coloring or decorating our 'baskets' and we would then fill them up, walk around the neighborhood and hang them from door knobs of random houses. I can understand why people dont do it these days. This world just isnt the same as it was 25 years ago.
Just a memory I thought I would share.
Had a pretty good day today. I have been making plans to take the Amtrak to Pittsburgh to see Eric. Yeah, I havent said much about him, Im afraid of the proverbial jinx. So once I can get my kids to sit down for a few minutes, Im going to talk to them about it. $134 round trip from Chicago to Pittsburgh just seems too good to be true. So inexpensive compared to driving.
Eric. I love him.
I didnt go see my Gram today. I think I needed a break. I know shes fine and I will see her tomorrow and bring her the few things she wanted. Junior Mints, cough drops and a needle and thread. For some reason she thinks shes going to be sewing. Im not sure what you sew in a nursing home.
My best girlfriend got my brother a black lab puppy today. She named him Widow. Mark, my brother, has a thing with Black Widow spiders. So it only makes sense to name the black dog Widow. My brother and her are dating.....way long story. Maybe like a few days worth of blogs, so Im not going to get into it. The dog is HIS. He is a few days worth of blogs as well, but to know him, is to understand him. Not many people understand him. By not many, I mean maybe 2. Me and her. And soon the dog.
My house is quiet right now. Kids are all outside. It in the mid 70s right now and we are expecting a lot of rain. I like rain. It calms me, so it can rain all it wants.
I love Eric...... *sigh*
Ok.....I got nothing more today.
Peace Out.....
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